Cry Me a River (On Hold)

Missing You

After school the next day I gathered my things and solemnly started walking towards the cemetery where my dad is buried. Every so often I like to go there and talk to him, it makes me feel like he is really still with me. One time, Jess came with me. I actually liked having her with me when I went. I don't know why, but I felt more at ease with her there. Like, I could actually express my feelings to him with someone with me, so someone would actually know how I felt about him being...gone.

As I was walking I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arm around my waist, pulling me closer so that I could feel the warmth radiating off of their body. I knew who it was instantly, by the smell of their cologne. I laid my head down on his shoulder while we walked, letting his sweet scent pour into my nose.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, but not an awkward silence. A comfortable one. I broke the silence first. "Would you like to come with me?" I asked, knowing he would know where I meant. I glanced up at him, only to find his bright green eyes already focused on mine.

"Do you really want me too?" Asher asked, a little unsure if I really meant it. But I do, of course I mean it.

"I do really mean it. Will you come with me, please?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "And after, we can go hit up Mona's. If you're nice, I might even by you a milkshake." He winked at me as he said that. Oh please, he would by me a hundred milkshakes if I asked him to!

"Yay! Milkshake!" I squealed in my really high voice that I knew he found really annoying.

He fake-winced and in a fake-bitter tone said, "Now that," he wiggled his index finger at me when he said that, "does NOT qualify as being good!"

I pouted my lips and looked up at him with big eyes, "It doesn't?!" I screeched in astonishment.

With my head against his shoulder, I could feel him shaking with silent laughter, but he didn't say anything for we had reached the cemetery, and it just wouldn't be right to laugh out loud here. As we walked around the gloomy graves, I couldn't help but notice how many of them their were. All of these people, gone forever. Do their family's visit them often? To the right of me their is a small girl-child sitting next to a large headstone, placing a big bouquet of pink and red flowers right in front of it. I squinted a bit so that I could see what the headstone read. "David Craigs. Beloved Father and Husband. 1960-2011." The little girl quietly got up and walked slowly back to where her tired looking mother was waiting for her. She grabbed her hand and they walked off quietly together.

I stopped. I glanced up at Asher and noticed that he wasn't next to me. Where did he go? I turned in a quick circle and saw that he stopped a few feet back, giving me some privacy with my dad. I smiled to him and turned back towards my dad's grave.

I slowly knelt down to my knees and sat in front of my dad's headstone.

"Hi dad," I spoke quietly, silent tears falling down my face. "I've been good. Well, I've been okay. I miss you dad, so much. More than anyone could ever miss someone, I think. Are you happy? I think you are. Up there in Heaven. Do you dance with Jesus? Like in that song we used to sing together? I can only believe that you do. See that guy back there dad? The blonde, incredibly handsome guy? That's him. Asher. They guy I've been telling you about. He's a good one, dad. He's sweet and caring and loving. All the things you would want him to be for me, he is." I brought my voice down to a barely audible whisper, "And he's funny. He jokes around with me just like you used to. I really like him, Dad. I love him."

"Mom's the same, I guess. She's sad. Ever since Izzy's dad left...she's been worse. She hits me, dad. No, I'm not trying to get you to turn against her. She was your first and only wife, your first love. And she was great, back then, when you were alive. She still loves me, somewhere deep down inside of her. The love is still there, I know it. I just have to find a way to bring it out again."