Broken

The Day After

His vision was blurry. His head was pounding. He didn't know where he was. A body was next to him. Or rather on top of him. They were fully clothed which was good. Then like a speeding train, it all came back to him. Alex. The club. He yelled at Emma. What he had yelled, Julian had no idea.
After a few minutes of Julian awkwardly laying there, Alex woke up.
"-orning," she yawned.
He looked at the clock. 8:30 am. Crap. Julian jumped out of bed. He ran into the shower.
After showering, he grabbed some clean clothes and ran downstairs.
He was too late. Everyone was already there. Shit. Fuck. Crap. He needed to have gotten everyone up and ready for the day. He had missed it.
The family was all in the kitchen looking at Julian sideways.
"I'm so so sorry," Julian finally said.
"Jules, it's ok," Tavvy said.
"No I messed up. I was foolish. I was stupid. I should have been there for you. I'm the worst big brother. Oh Angel. Did Mark and Emma have to get you up? They did didn't they. They must think I'm a joke," he finished with his head in his hands.
"Jules, we're fine. We know how to get ourselves up. We're not babies anymore. We can handle you having fun for the first time in your life," this time it was Dru to say something.
Then there was a little squeak from the door. It was Emma. She looked so scared of Julian.
"Emma, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I said to you. I'm so sorry, I know whatever I said it was horrible. I FEEL horrible. Can you forgive me?" He said.
Then she ran and gave him a hug. Not a light friend one. One so tight, like she was afraid that he would leave her again.
"-I-sorry-I'm-ugh-I'm-the-worst-Jules-Julian-I'm-sorry-love-you-sorry." Emma managed to say between sobs.
"Emma, can we go somewhere to talk?"
"Pl-ease," she said, still crying.
He took her hand, and lead her out of the kitchen.
•-•
They walked into his studio, it had become more Emma filled than when she saw it last. The paintings were overwhelming. She saw the beauty that Julian saw in her. It took her breath away, which wasn't good because she was having trouble breathing anyway because of crying so hard.
"Jules-" she started.
"Please, please tell me what I said," Julian said, cutting her off.
"Nothing that wasn't true."
"What does that mean?"
"I've just been trying to protect you."
"From what?"
"Us."
"You really think it was end badly between us?"
"Not like that."
"Then like what?"
"I can't say."
"Damnit, Emma!"
"Julian, please!"
"No. I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like you know something I don't."
"I do"
"What?"
"Why we can't be together."
"A bad law is no law."
"That's not it."
"Then what?" He took her hands,"they don't like love?"
"Our love is too powerful. We would turn evil from the power. We'd become villains."
"Our love is perfect. We're best friends. We're lovers. We'd have a perfect life."
"Do you want to know the reason they take our runes if we get married, or fall deeper in love?"
"Of course."
"Our love creates new power. How do you think that we created those runes to save you from that arrow? Or how you saved me from downing?"
"So, we become more powerful."
"Dangerously so."
"The darkest parts of us come out."
"Yes."
"I'd lose my tunes for you."
"What?!?"
"I'd lose them to have a life with you."
"You'd lose your family."
"I'd get a mundie job. We'd have 2-4 kids. We'd have the perfect life."
"With no family."
"You're my family."
"But you'd resent me."
"Do you think I could ever really do that?"
"No, but that's not after everything we would go through."
"Wait."
"What?"
"What if Clary could make a rune to take away our parabatai rune?"
"What if it doesn't work?"
"Could you love me in secret?"
"What?"
"We could say we're hunting, and then really we having sex. We could do it for years. As we wait for the new rune to be created."
"Julian, we can't."
"Why?"
"Because the day might never come,"
"Ok, but I still get you."
"But all the secrets. All the lies. No family to start. No wedding. No nothing."
"We're not nothing."
"This isn't for me. I could live with just you. But I know YOU Jules. I know you want kids with me. And it's something we might never get to do. I want to have kids with you too. I want four. With you. I want our love to mean something. More than it already does. I want the world to know that your mine. I want to love you so much, that the rest of the world hates us. I don't want to hide. And I know you don't either."
"Emma-"
Then they heard the door being picked. Mark walked in. He looked around the room. Then at Emma. With Julian. His Emma. Nodded. Then walked out. Closing the door behind him.
"I have to go after him," she said.
"Oh God, I should have never painted these things!" Julian said.
Emma turned back around, took hold of Julian's chin. Kissed him. Then said,"Don't you ever say that to me again."
•-•
"Mark!" Emma yelled.
Mark turned and looked at Emma, "yes?"
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way."
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long have you two been sleeping together?"
"Once before you and I started pretending. But not after. I haven't spoken to him in months."
"We all have our secret lovers."
"We're not lovers anymore. I mean, we were, but we can't be anymore."
"Right."
"Please don't turn us in."
"I should."
"Mark I'm begging you."
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Because he's your brother, I'm your friend. We didn't mean to fall in love."
Mark was silent, then he said, "You two love each other?"
"More than I can hold in my heart."
"Then I won't."
"Bless you."
"On one condition."
"We act like we're together in public. You get to be having sex with my brother, and I can sleep with whoever I want."
"Deal."
"Whoever."
"Not me. I'm only going to be with Julian."
"You're really going to turn down me?"
"Yes."
"You must really love him."