Phan One Shots

Terrible Things.

Inspired by Terrible Things by Mayday Parade.

"dad, what was your relationship with dad like?"

My dad went on about my dad and his blue eyes. how his deep black hair seemed to fall perfectly on his face, and how he could light up any room he would walk into. I didn't get to know my dad before he passed, I was too young to have any recollection of moments I've had with him. all that's left is my dad's description and old videos.

My dad told me tales of their first time meeting, since they met on a website "YouTube" that was popular in the early 2000's. since the day he found him, all he can remember is those eyes. he said he could never stop staring at them. apparently, they were a shade of blue that couldn't even be described. I wish I could remember them.

he continued with stories about their fans, how they used to make fun of the way he looked at him, calling him things like "heart eyes Howell" and that dads nickname was "love eyes Lester." their audience always caught them red-handed, but they didn't want to tell them because of a lot of reasons, really.

for the longest time, they tried to hide their relationship. but the fans were relentless. they went to extreme lengths to find any type of evidence AT ALL that they were together. it makes me laugh, honestly, thinking my dad could ever be that cool, to the point where people spent HOURS watching him, trying to figure him out.

my dad never really talks about him. I never got the story of what happened to him... and by the time I began to wonder, I realized that whatever it may have been, it really hurt my dad. I didn't want him to relive those terrible moments, but I needed to know. i had a right to know.

dad would tell stories of YouTube parties where'd they'd get wasted off of their asses. they were spontaneous and crazy and just a bundle of joy.

dad recalls the exact day that he proposed to him. it was cold, apparently. they were out "vlogging" in London for a part in a series of videos that was named "a day in the life of Dan and Phil in ___." he turned off the camera and got down on one knee at their favorite spot and asked for my dads hand in marriage forever. of course he said yes. my dad says that it was arguably one of the best days of his entire life (besides the wedding, of course)

one day, my dad suddenly began to tear up. I had a girlfriend at the time, and he told me that he is happy that I had found love. and I knew he truly was. but something was off. i knew exactly what conversation was going to follow this hook...

my dad wept as he recalled what happened, as he told me everything. I couldn't believe it.... why cancer? of all things? why did my dad have to suffer before his life ended?

after 13 years of life without him, you'd think the pain would be a bit more bearable. my dad, however, was a living, breathing example that the ones you love never truly leave your heart no matter how long they've been gone.

I embraced my dad, and he warned me. he told me to be cautious and always keep my guard up, because you never know when you'll lose the one you love. he told me my dad was a good man. the best, in fact, and he will never love another the way he loved him. he told me to always expect the unexpected. he told me to not let the same thing happen to me.