Apartment 207

Chapter 18:

chapter 18

(josh pov)

click

the glovebox

I don't have to look long to know what I'm searching for

orange, round

like a song
saving you and hurting you at the same time

I push down the safety tab

my hands are frail and desperate

almost transparent.

frustrated

maddened

edge of insanity

the top falls to the floor

i scare myself with darkness that we forget to realize is inside of us

they're pretty

like little candies

each with a different flavor

strawberry

grape

mango

mango...

mango tea

that was tyler's favorite

i tilt the bottle letting a few fall

so pretty, deadly, like a thought

maybe a few more

they drizzle down the bottle into my hands

how sweet must it be to feel so much pain once and then never again

sweet relief

for the hopeless

the reckless the ones

the ones who love but are never loved in return

i put them in my mouth with surprising ease

pushing them against my teeth with my tongue

teasing myself

my heartbeat rhythms through my body

no one will ever know

maybe it's best that these things die with me

maybe it's not such a bad thing

•

i slowly swallow them

and close my tired eyes

I'm a broken person

but aren't we all?

•

funny,

this is not what I remember candies taste like.