Time will heal your scars.

Rewind

The ticking of the clock was droning, cutting right through his head.

"shut uhuhp"
Alex hiccupped, he threw the nearly empty bottle of vodka at the clock missing entirely.
The bottle smashed off the wall, suddenly footsteps were hear racing up the stairs.

Delilah swung open the door, worry projecting from her face and voice.

"what happened!?"

Alex just lay, sprawled out on his bed splint in hand and slurred a reply.

"heey delilah haha nothig just  tha hic that's click is all"

"click?"
She asked, worried and confused.

"no silly, clock c o- wait no c- ah whatever."
After failing to spell clock, Alex sat up taking a long drag of his splint.

Delilah sighed in  aspiration, she had seen Alex do nothing but drink and smoke the past two weeks. He refused to talk about what was causing him to be like this, she felt useless a helpless soul damned to only witness her love spiral out of control and nothing more. It was painful for her, especially since she couldn't even talk to him either, he is no good like this but he consistently denies her help.

Delilah sniffed the air, horror swept over her face as she accused.

"is that weed!?"

Alex stared at her through half closed eyes.

"so what if it is."

"that's bad, you shouldn't smoke that shit when youre like this. How did you even get it?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

Delilah bit her lip and swallowed hard, before quietly answering.

"that was over two years ago, im not like that anymore.."

Alex blew out smoke and flicked the blunt out the window, quickly shutting it again returning the room to dim darkness.

"whatever. I remember you saying how it helps get you out your thoughts, youre right"

"Alex I did that cause I couldn't do anything se I had no one to turn to not even you. But when we met you helped me get better, why wont you let me help you?."
She pleaded

"oh yeh 'couldn't do anything else' oh I know ill just cut that's another thing you did right? Pathetic."

Delilah felt those words punch her in the gut, but she knew this wasn't him speaking it was the drugs. She wouldn't cry cause she knows he doesn't mean it.

"Alex please talk to me, let me help."

Alex sat up again and looked her in the face.

"you cant even keep your own life together how are you gonna help me? Huh? That's what I thought."

"FUCK YOU!"
Delilah couldn't take it, she left the room slamming the door hard behind her. Tears streaming from her eyes body shaking with angry, yearning sobs.

Alex breathed out heavily, as he flopped back down and turned over in his sheets. Whispering to himself as if to convince himself of a plan.

"its better if she hates me... better if everyone hates me. Heck most people hate me without me having to make them, well if they want to hate me for no reason ill give them one-"

Alex cut off breathing in, taking a moment before continuing.

"im not even that drunk. Life is so pointless nothing can numb me, and im hurting the only person I love... maybe I am just a 'selfish no good waste of space.' "