Time will heal your scars.

Catch up.

The sun shoyld be starting to raise, however you couldnt tell for sure for the dark grey curtains that dangled just above the matching carpet blocked out any light giving a sense of no time. Delilah sometimes sat on her bed and stared at the ceiling it felt like as soon as she stepped over the thresh hold of her bedroom door that she became detached from the world, that she could think free and clear. Almost a safe haven, It was almost as if she could ironically escape when confined by these four cream coloured walls. However as of late she hasn't felt comfort in this dull cave, its as if a barrier has been broken and now she is continuously rattled with stress... but of course Alex doesnt know any of this Alex was fast asleep beside her but Delilah just couldn't close her eyes never mind sleep. She kept replaying their conversation in her head but she would be lying to herself if she said it was the only reason she was laying on her back with stale, stinging eyes that couldn't do anything but stare at the ceiling at what she estimated to be around three am. She was scared to sleep in all honesty she feared closing her eyes because when everyone else would slip into a comatose dream or calm darkness she would be dragged into her darkest fears tore apart by the embodiments of her inner demons.
She contemplated the thought of bringing up her night terrors in therapy but the thought was denied an action Delilah knew her therapist wouldn't be able to help her with them just like he couldn't help her with her depression.

Despite him having a digree in phycology hes not one to second guess when he makes a decision. realistically he shouldn't be the prioritised person to talk to, i mean come on a stranger how is that any help at all? its like walking up to some random person in the street and going "hey im a teenager but my mind is ahead of my physical age an i have deep routed issues and phycological problems such as anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder oh and dont forget im also bulimic. can you help me?" and they will say yes because of course one college class on phycology makes you an expert and able to solve all mental illnesses.

Delilah rubbed her eyes and gave an exhausted sigh, then clasps her hands behind her neck.

Everything's a mess been at therapy for a month and made no progress, its useless but not as if my grand parents will take me out of it. I know i should be thankful but its a fruitless, money wasting endeavour but it would be rude not to attend sessions after all i was just dumped on them at the beginning of their retirement and they where inviting and kind... when their actually around that is...

Delilah turned her head to gaze over her adorable sleeping boyfriend, she thought he looked so innocent while asleep, so calm and almost happy... but now that she knows the truth her face and heart couldn't help but wince at the thought of what that t-shirt hid.
biting down on her lip as to not cry, she shuffled out of the bed and cautiously moved the cover over as to not wake Alex. while she grabbed her robe from the desk chair by the end of the bed Delilah could see a dim orange glow from the sides of the drapes. Tiptoeing back to the bedside table she picked up her phone.

Ten to six,  wow later than i thought. guess that makes it...1....5..12...46 hours i havent slept, funny thing is the only thing im exhausted of is breathing.

Delilahs eyes drew back to Alex to peaceful, they trailed over him sadly.

There i go feeling sorry for myself again, he is clearly going through worse why do i have to be so selfish...i need to be strong, i have to be there for him. Regardless, i love him...should really tell him that more.

Delilah turned and put her phone into her robe pocked, froze to tale it out then lightly slid it back onto the wooden night stand.

No one will be up at this hour, not that anyone would text me anyway. Not saying i want anyone to. Not saying i care, just stating facts.

She then slowly tiptoed out of the bedroom and gently closed the door.
walking down the hall she was greeted with a bright orange wash of sunlight trying to burst through the white cotton drapes and claim the inside of the house. The light seemed like a good idea to begin with but once you let it in it will blind you from all angles, like most things i suppose.

Delihla let out a short breath that seemed to say, here we go again and she began walking down the giant white marble steps her hand lightly trailing along the cold mahogany bannister, her eyes glided over the large emptiness of the house it was a strange feeling that always twitched at her lungs and heart and throat - To feel comfort in loneliness to feel like you have everything on your own to feel completely in control with no one else around and yet the complete opposite of everything at the same time.

When her dainty bare feet left the last step she continued on in her own little world a safe vacuum a time where animals and insects are at their peak birds chirping away filling the warm natural silence and humans stayed in bed not polluting the quite or the air or the feelings of others a calm time where she could appreciate the naturalness of nature and indulge in the sun that felt as if it was only touching her skin like a warm hug to say you can do this.

She popped on the kettle and leaned forward on the sink counter top gazing out the window at the trees and birds and slowly rising sun as the glow turned from orange to yellow. This day can go in manny directions, i should prepare myself for the worst but this is Alex we are talking about i should consider the fact that he is understanding an loving perhaps he wont be as angry as i think and we can move on together...i don't want to bring it up with everything he's going through right now but it would be worse if he found out on his own. I cant do anything but wait at this point.

She made a warm cup of honey tea and sat at on of the counter stools watching out the window, waiting for...for anything to happen. At this point she really couldn't argue whether she wanted time to stop and just stay in her selfish little bubble or for time to move on quickly so she can get through hat needs to be done like ripping off a superglued bandaid.

Taking a sip of tea, she sat the mug down both hands wrapped around it enjoying the warmth. Everything will fall into place one way or another its inevitable, everything is inevitable.