If It's Easy.

CHAPTER XVII

"If you're going to hold someone down you're going to have to hold on by the other end of the chain. You are confined by your own repression." -Toni Morrison

Suddenly that car became the last place on Earth I wanted to be. I looked at Stuart to find his countenance didn't match the rough voice he'd just speared out. The sight wasn't enough to give me any comfort. All I could do was take in the glare of the lights that lined the expressway in hopes that I was dreaming, unfortunately, I was not. When I casually climbed inside, just over fifteen minutes earlier, I had no idea, that it could be the last ride of my life. Bewilderment, was surely the expression, I wore on my face. Confusion, doubt, sadness and hopefulness all mixed into one truly confused person. I was that one, my next words were crucial. My hands shook in my lap, clutching unto the black leather strap of my purse, for dear life.

"Then where?" I asked, barely being able to mask the vigorous shaking in my throat.

"You'll see when we get there." He chimed calmly, as if he hadn't just yelled at me. Like he'd forgot or something. "Don't cry, I'm not going to kill you." He mockingly whispered in a surprisingly chill tone. His head briefly dipped in my direction, like I was being ridiculous.

"I changed my mind." I spoke slowly, the words had left me before I could think them over.

"About what?"

"I want to go home." I added, not really caring or hearing what he'd just said.

Stuart exaggeratedly shook his head in the negative. It was like he thinking 'no can do'.

I held unto my arm rest for dear life, as we swerved off the interstate. He had to be doing eighty or even over. "What the hell Stuart?" I screeched, after we'd finally leveled out on a street. I'd never been driven so fast in my life.

I watched as his head swayed with the cars movement. Stuart's eyes were focused entirely on the road ahead, completely focused. Almost causing me to shutter. "If I was you, I wouldn't be talking to me like that." He jeered.

"Just tell me where we're going." I uttered, my fear was evident. As I tried to straighten my back during the bumpy ride. My view of him was foggy through my peripheral as I felt small tears begin to form.

"Somewhere." Was all he said.

Minutes went by before we finally stopped on the side of a road. It brought me both relief and worry to finally be stationary. The street was narrow, only two lanes going both ways. Not a single car passed us going either way. The only sign of life was a lone strip of old wooden buildings. I'd never seen such bareness in my life. I could only spot one light in our path, up so far away it appeared as a star.

"You're probably wondering what we're doing." He spoke, breaking the weary silence. I only turned to meet his eyes in silence. I promptly noticed him, as switching the lights off and soon the car entirely. My nervousness began to take a sharp turn for the worse as our surroundings had gone near pitch black.. "Lici..."

"I'm wondering what you're doing." I corrected, careful not to sound too agitated. I pulled my arm closer to me as he tried to touch me.

His dark eyes fit in with our surroundings perfectly. They'd become animated at my reluctance. Though his face was as stark as rock. "Don't do that." His voice filled the spacious car. "You know me, you know I'm not crazy." He asserted, trying to gain my arm again, only for me to jerk away even harder. "Lici!" He yelled, sounding defeated. "I only brought you here, because I feel like it's the only place I can get through to you."

"I don't know you." I hesitated. "...not anymore. I trusted you." I complained, I was slowly beginning to realize how dumb I'd been. But how could I have known that I'd be sitting in the middle of nowhere on a Thursday night with Stuart. The thought alone was so far fetched, the scenario had to happen for me to believe it could be true.