[LAST CHAPTER FOR A LITTLE WHILE]
[im going to start focusing on purple heart a little more, but dont worry i shall return to true love shortly :)]
[Playlist Twenty-One:
1. You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet on the Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keeps Your Heart In The Clouds - Mayday Parade
2. Miserable At Best- Mayday Parade
3. There was another time in my life - Relient K
4. Curl up and die - Relient K ]
[p.s. the dream kendall has in this chapter is an actual dream I had, which is what spawned this ENTIRE story haha soooo its a very vivid dream.]
[p.p.s. the dress she is wearing in the dream is the same one taylor swift wears in the love story video
http://www.glogster.com/media/2/3/97/96/3979682.jpg]
[read, vote, comment, tell me what you think!]
TWENTY-ONE: Kendall
I watched him walk away from me, and for the second time in my life I felt like he was abandoning me. Part of me wanted to run after him and tell him I changed my mind: I would stay with him. However, a huge part of me knew better. I wasn't actually sure what our previous night had meant for us, I had labeled it as closure to give me peace of mind and let me continue on with my wedding; but I knew it had been more. The bigger question on my mind, as I watched Mark pass through the crowded terminal, was what had that night meant to him? I had locked Mark's feelings for me away in a vault somewhere in my mind that I refused to open so to prevent further damage to myself. What I had not counted on was my dismissal, of what I thought was lack of feelings, had done to him.
"Ma'am," the ticket attendant, waiting at the entrance to the
plane, interrupted my thoughts. "You need to board now."
"Right," I sighed turning away from Mark's disappearing figure
and continuing back towards my real life.
The woman scanned my ticket and then ushered me through the
doorway. I walked down the retractable ramp to the plane and began to
finally fell the wave of nausea and regret I had been anticipating. My heart was leaping into my throat in a desperate attempt to make me turn around and go after him, instead of running away for the second time.
"But I'm not running this time," I thought to myself as my rational thinking mind continued its ongoing battle with my heart. "Or am I?"
On some level I was running away again. Only this time it was for very different reasons. When I had first flown away from Mark and California I was trying to outrun heartbreak, thinking if I flew far enough away it couldn't effect me. This time I was leaving because I was unable to understand what exactly I was getting myself into. Until mere hours ago I was sure Mark had felt nothing towards me, now that I knew he did I was more freaked then ever. I was caught in a no win situation. I could either stay with Mark and risk being hurt all over again, and lose the whole life I had built for myself in London; or I could continue home to my fiancee and lose the previous love of my life all over again. There was no right answer, and there was no wrong one really.
With all this debate clouding my thoughts my heart began to win the battle and my pace towards the plane slowed as I began to doubt my decision. My rational mind however stayed on the defense and reminded me of why I couldn't stay with him.
For one, I was engaged to a man who loved me and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I couldn't just give that up for a chance at reuniting with an old flame, no matter who it was.
