[yeahh.. next time it takes me this long between posts I give you all permission to track me down and slap me.. okay? okay. Soo this chapter takes a hugeeee flip.. its gonna shock you all I can feel it, I just beg of you not to panic. Alrighty then, ENJOY MY LOVERLY FANS :)]
[didn't listen to any music in particular... just a lot of death cab for cutie: Mostly "What Sarah Said" and also "Bring me to life" by Evenescence]
[Read, Vote, Comment, Tell me what YOUUUUU think! Cause if you don't, i really have no motivation.. haha im a person who is easily persuaded by flattery or recognition in general.... shameful to admit.]
TWENTY-TWO: Mark
I awoke to the a mind clouded with regret and the harsh headache of a hangover. The morning light shined through Alise's wooden blinds landed directly on my eyes. I squinted and cursed the pulsing migraine that my headache was turning into. My stomach churned with not only the stale remnants of a drunken night but also the sickening feeling I got when I remembered where I was.
I looked back over my shoulder as I sat up on the edge of the bed and saw Alise laying there without her shirt or bra on. Her hair streamed across the pillow as she lay with an awkwardly raised arm that I had thrown off of me in the night. The sheets entwined me still, holding me in the bed and keeping me close to her. I peeled away the tangled encasement of my own making as quietly and slowly as possible so I wouldn't wake Alise.
I walked away from her bed and down the short hallway of her one bedroom apartment, stumbling into the bathroom. I shut the door and ran the hot water in her claw-foot tub. I examined the bathroom in the harsh sober light of the day and could only see the flawed imperfections that it contained. The enamel that was slowly rusting away on her bathtub, the dripping corner in the ceiling above the sink, and somehow there was the smell of mildew all around me. I sat on the cold tile floor of her bathroom with one of my knees folded up underneath the crook of my elbow. My head laid back against the tub as the hot water ran and filled the small enclosed space with a warm fog. The room was dark as I placed my head underneath the weak stream of water that flowed out of the faucet. The hot water burned my scalp as it ran over my entire head and dripped into my eyes. I opened my eyes and watched the water trickle down my face and drop by drop plummet from my eyelashes and the tip of my nose; every drop falling in slow motion before colliding with the brass plug of the bathtub and splashing into smaller crystalline pieces.
I stayed like this just letting the water sooth my aching head and slowly burn away the memories of the last week. I wanted to go back to how it was a week ago. Kendall was just a mistake that I thought I would never had a chance to fix; I had come to terms with that, I had functioned, I was going along with my life. Yes, I still wanted to be with her, but at least before we had come into contact again I was able to see other women from time to time and have such a disdain for myself afterwards. I was doing fine a week ago; not great, not okay, just fine; but that was enough for me. Then I had to see Kendall again. I was able to re-memorize her smile, the sound of her laughter, the rich color of her eyes. Now I was back to where I had started four years ago; feeling sick with myself, wanting nothing more but to hit the rewind button on time, soon I would be seeing her face in everyone, everywhere.
The water began to turn from hot to warm, and from warm to cold. I finally turned off the water and just rested my arms over the lip of the tub as my head hung underneath the faucet still. In the next room over, Alise's bedroom, I heard movements and I knew she had woken up. I had hoped to be gone before this moment, but nothing happens the way you plan. I stood up off the tiled bathroom floor and grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet above the toilet and dried off my drenched hair.
"Hey, what are you doing up already?"
I turned to see Alise standing in the doorway of the bathroom
