It's Complicated || Larry & Ziam [COMPLETED]

ten

Louis went back to his house and angrily slammed the door. All he wanted was to have his emotions with no one around to get hurt it judge him for them.

"Louis, hello," his father greeted formally, which had always irked Louis. Why did his parents have to be like this? They couldn't treat him like a son and not a colleague? "We were wondering where you had been."

"Football practice," Louis answered shortly. He just wanted to go into his room and crash face-first into his pillow.

"Your mother and I are worried that your grades are suffering because you spend so much time with football and your friends."

"And?"

"We think it's best if you only go to mandatory practice and stop talking to your friends after school until your grades come back up."

"Fine. Whatever. May I be excused from the conversation?"

His father gave him a wary look. "Yes."

As soon as Louis made it to his bedroom, he yelled into his pillow and felt tears sting his eyes. Everything was messed up in his life. His grades were suffering; his friends were keeping secrets from him; his family was hardly a family; the whole deal with Harry was seriously screwing him up.

The truth was, Louis had had a dream about Harry. It did include a kiss, and it was great. It was better than any kiss with any girl and Louis hated it because it felt like that in reality too. Harry was everything Louis wasn't — smart and self-confident and nice and good at making friends. He probably had a wonderful family who loved him above all else and his grades were sure to get him into any college he could want. Harry was perfect in the sense that he wasn't full of flaws.

But he also made Louis feel like he actually had friends and had a chance at making things better for himself. He was supportive and sweet and never once did he say a mean word to or about Louis, even thought that was all Louis said to him.

The blue-eyed boy was jealous of Harry. He was stable and he knew exactly what he wanted and it annoyed Louis to no end because he knew he would never have that. Harry also got along great with Liam and Louis knew that he'd get along well with Zayn, too, because Harry got along with everyone. What the other boy didn't know was that Liam and Zayn were Louis's family, and that becoming friends with them and taking them away would only shatter Louis even more.

Harry Styles was aggravatingly perfect.

Louis looked up and stared at his ceiling. Liam had even told Harry about whatever fight he and Zayn were having when he didn't even tell his best friend. All Louis wanted was a family, to finally feel appreciated and loved and needed, and Harry was taking away everything. And there was no way Louis could be mad at him because no one could possibly be mad at Harry. He was innocent and nice and unbelievably forgivable.

And then he went and allowed Louis to kiss him. Couldn't Harry tell that Louis hated him? Louis hated him for everything that he was and wasn't. Louis hated that he wasn't a horrible person. Louis hated that he was so good at taking away Louis's friends. Next thing he knew, Harry would be in his house and having dinner with Louis's parents, who would totally love him and give him the love that they had never shown Louis.

As more tears pricked his eyes, Louis knew Harry would never do that. Harry would never do anything specifically to hurt Louis. When Louis had thrown him nothing but insults, Harry had just looked pitiful and said nothing mean to Louis that he didn't deserve, ever. Harry's life and personality and everything was perfect. Couldn't he tell that Louis was jealous? Jealous of his life and his confidence and his personality?

Louis had known what he was doing when he kissed Harry at that party. He wanted to see if Harry was a good kisser, too, like he could just add it to the list of Harry's non-existent flaws. Louis's only consolation was that Harry had kissed him back when he was completely sober, like he liked Louis. Maybe Harry thought Louis's life was perfect and wanted to be him.

And then Louis kept thinking about how Harry actually wanted to kiss him. Did Harry like him? Was the gay boy everyone had made fun of starting to like Louis?

Louis was used to girls liking him. And Louis liked that girls liked him, but he never had any feelings, and neither did they. The only crushes girls had on him were purely superficial — nothing had anything to do with Louis as a person.

But Harry wasn't like that, he knew. Kisses that came from the cheerleaders were completely different from a kiss that came from Harry. Louis doubted that Harry would kiss someone just because he wanted to sleep with him. Plus, the boy hadn't made any moves at all to support that idea. Harry had done nothing but kiss Louis and let him lead. That was all he had done.

Louis kind of liked the idea of someone liking him for himself and not his popularity or reputation or position on the football team or to get in his pants or anything else. The only kisses he'd had without having sex were when he was thirteen and fourteen, when he had girlfriends but very few people had sex then.

Louis felt bad then. If Harry really did like him, and Louis just said that stuff to him, what was Harry feeling? Louis was jealous and mad and regretful and straight — surely those made it okay for him to say those things so that Harry wouldn't get the wrong idea.

But Louis liked hanging out at the bakery after school. Sure, at first he'd only gone so he could act nice to Harry for the job, but then he went because it was fun to talk and joke and mess around where he didn't have to worry about people judging him. Louis didn't have to act nice around Harry anymore because the thought of insulting Harry again made him feel sick.

Which was what made Louis feel like shit right then.

Whatever, Louis told himself as he let himself cry and get mad at himself and Harry and Liam and Zayn and his parents. Harry would be fine and he would be fine and he wasn't gay.