The Story of Why

Keda - Not Tonight

~Keda's POV~

We were taking a break from bowling, eating pizza when he said something that really caught my attention. "You were wearing a dress the day we met," he recalled.

"Yes, and you were wearing my iced cappucino," I mocked, smiling. I had no idea where this conversation was going. I was surprised he noticed what I had been wearing.

He laughed lightly. "Yeah, I was. Why were you wearing a dress, though?"

"I was at church..." I said, looking down. I wasn't quite sure I was embarrassed.

"Oh, so you're a Jesus person, then?" he asked, leaning back against his chair. I kind of felt uneasy with the expectant look he was giving me from behind those big glasses.

"Jesus person? Like, religious?" I asked, he nodded slightly. "No, not really. My mom is, though. Ever since my dad died, she's kind of been obsessed with religion and everything. I go with her because I know it means a lot to her and helps her, you know, cope. I believe in science," I told him.

"Why do you go if you don't want to? If you don't even believe? I know you're trying to help your mom out and all, but what's the point in going if you don't want to? Why lie to her?" he asked, leaving me kind of shocked. I'd never seen him so serious before.

"I don't know. People lie all the time for other people's own good. It's cruel, but so is humanity," I told him.

"You know what I don't get?" he looked at me, waiting for my cue.

"What?" I asked.

"Why everyone...hides. Hides what they like and what they believe and everything about who they are. Like, I've never met my dad. I was the outcome of a one nightstand gone wrong. Does that mean I'm going to grab a can of spray paint and draw graffiti all over the principal's car? No, I'm not a delinquent. A lot of people wouldn't be able to say something like that about their selves because they're afraid of what other people will say. Frankly, I don't care about what other people think of me because it doesn't matter. If they actually cared about who I am as a person, they wouldn't judge me from my past, or what I've done, or what I believe in, you know?" he was looking at me expectantly.

This boy always managed to surprise me. Everything he was saying made a lot of sense. I wish I could think more like him. I wish I didn't care what people thought of me. This boy was a lot more than looks and laughs. I like him even more now. I wonder what goes on in his brain. How he can switch from joking around to serious all of a sudden. How he didn't care what anyone else said. How he did what he wanted without worrying about the outcome.

"Yeah...I get what you mean," I assured him.

He looked at me with a sort of new interest in his eyes he hadn't had before. "Come on," he said, standing up. "That is, if you want to watch me beat you," he grinned.

"I'll have you know I am a bowling champion. Good luck beating me," I got up, too, and as we were walking towards the bowling lanes he took my hand and interlocked our fingers. I didn't protest.

This boy would simply not take no for an answer. He asked if I was hungry, I told him I wasn't, he bought us a pizza. Not to mention he basically kidnapped me. Although it was probably the most fun I'd had in months. Honestly, I don't have any friends at my school. Not in my country, actually. My only friend, Isabelle, was on vacation in France. She wasn't home all summer, which, of course, meant that I was. Drew seemed like the type of guy with a lot of friends, but then again, he had been at Tim Horton's alone. He also had no plans tonight. Maybe those were just coincidences. Anyways, I don't really hang out much and being with Drew was a good change.

As I lay in bed I recall what had happened earlier today. I remember how he just grabbed my hand and started running, how he asked if he could see my phone, I had given it to him, he said he was "just checking the weather for next week," as soon as I got back home I had went to my memos and saw a memo of a phone number that I know I hadn't typed. I haven't stopped grinning. I couldn't believe how deeply into that conversation we had he was. He had looked at me so intensely, and he made a lot of good points. I always cared what other people think and I've been worrying about impressing them, like so many other people do, but Drew, no. He doesn't care what they think. That was pretty amazing.

I wonder what his opinion on religion is. He never really said anything about his thoughts. He made it all about me. I liked that, but it left me curious. Plus, how come he gets to learn so much about me and I know so little about him? Maybe he just didn't like to talk. But, wow. He is so much fun to talk to, and a lot more intelligent than most of the boys I've talked to. I really hope he likes me...

A million thoughts swirled through my head. Should I call him? No, text first. Call later. Now? No, I'll seem too eager. But what if he doesn't reply and it was all a big joke and- I sighed. ''I think I'll just go to bed,'' I told myself, mostly because I felt my brain wouldn't be able to hear me over the roar of anxious thoughts about texting Drew. As soon as I closed my eyes, another thought entered my mind. I haven"t started my essay and I only have one day left to do it! My heart pounded in my chest and I put my hand on my face. I was so stressed out, I just wanted to cry.

Then I imagined what Drew would say if he knew what I was thinking right now.

Screw it, said Drew's voice in my head.

I couldn't agree with you more, Drew.