The Story of Why

Keda - Grocery Bags

~Keda's POV~

I kept thinking about the events that had taken place just hours before as I lay in bed. I was trying to get away from Marc. Then he cornered me and kept getting closer and closer, so I backed up against the wall. Next thing I know, a fist comes out of nowhere and slams into the side of Marc's face, causing him to stumble back. I turned and I couldn't believe I saw Drew standing there, looking even angrier than he did when we were fighting.

It was terrifying, I must say. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I knew he would never hurt me, but seeing him like that... that was what scared me. Seeing him snap. It was great, though. He came at the perfect time. He saved me. Plus, it was really attractive, him getting so angry and defending me.

It was great...heroic. But it just keeps getting more and more obvious that he's different. He's changed. He's turning into a completely different person right before my eyes and it kills me that I can't do anything to stop it. I've tried so hard. I try and try, but it just keeps getting worse.

We talked about what happened when we got to my house. He told me he was sorry he did that in front of me and that he hopes I don't think badly of him. I told him I didn't think badly of him, I could never think badly of him. He had been the one who was always there and the only one who made my struggle seem worth it. He was what made me strong, made me happy. Now I don't even know who he is anymore.

He's so distant, and he hides his feelings. He makes it impossible for me to help in any way possible. It's just so frustrating. I don't know how I can get through to him. Part of me wonders if that's even possible at this point. I love him so much -and I know he loves me, too- but he's pushing me away. I can't deal with that.

It was Friday. A week passed by and I hadn't seen him. I kept texting and calling, but he wouldn't answer. Even if his phone was -I don't know- dead, he could just call using a home phone or just walk to my house. Did he not want to talk to me? Or was he hiding something? If he wasn't talking to me because he got a new bruise, man, I'd kick him in the face.

I went to the grocery store to pick some things up for my mom, when I saw him. I ran up to him. 

''Hey!'' he exclaimed, smiling. He was wearing jeans and a grey pullover.

''Hey Eric, have you talked to Drew lately?'' I asked him.

''It's kind of hard not to, with him living in the same house as me, you know,'' he replied.

I raised my eyebrows. ''He lives with you? Since when?'' I asked. 

''Yeah, since, like, two weeks ago,'' he looked puzzled, as if he thought I knew.

''Well, that's great! But has he talked to you...about me?'' I asked him.

He gave me a weird look. It seemed almost...irritated. He sighed. ''Of course. He thinks you don't deserve to be with such a screw up like him,'' he was shaking his head, his expression now angry.

''What?!'' This is ridiculous. He must be joking.

''I know,'' he took a deep breath, ''he's insane.''

''I need to see him,'' I told him. He nodded. I paid for my groceries and we walked to his car.

Eric lived in a pretty big house. It wasn't exceptional on the inside, but it was nice. On the left, there was the living room, which had a large T.V. and a huge stack of video games. When you walk in, you see the kitchen a little bit in front of you, on the right, is a staircase.

''Hey, Drew! Come down here a minute!'' he called.

''What is it?'' Drew shouted back from upstairs.

''Presents!'' Eric yelled, grinning.

I felt anxious to see him again for the first time in a while. I scratched my wrist nervously, not even noticing until I felt a sharp pain and I realized that I had broke skin. I tried wiping off some of the blood, but that just ended up in it being smeared all around. I quickly looked up to see if Eric had seen me. I was relieved to see him still staring at the staircase, it was pretty awkward. I didn't really know him well.

I heard someone coming down the stairs, then I saw him emerge from somewhere upstairs. I saw his body tense when he saw me. He was wearing grey sweat pants and a plain black t-shirt. It was weird enough to see him without glasses, but now he was dressing down, too? That wasn't the Drew I knew.

''Hey,'' I said quietly.

He looked at Eric, his facial expression saying ''I'll yell at you later,'' and then he looked back at me. ''Hey,'' he said.

''How about you guys go upstairs and talk, I'll be down here if you need me,'' Eric said carefully. 

''Okay,'' Drew said. ''Come on up,'' he told me. I started walking towards him, and he turned around, walking back up the stairs.

We were in the guest room, which I guess was now Drew' room. It was a big room, the walls were painted beige and there was a huge king sized bed in the middle of the room. Next to the bed was a nightstand, where a phone, that did not look like Drew's, was.

He closed the door behind me and waited for me to start talking. He was looking at me as if he was bracing himself for what I might say. ''You haven't been answering me,'' I began. I sounded more afraid than angry.

He sighed, running his finger through his hair, and sat down on the bed. ''I know,'' he said quietly.

That wasn't the reason why I came here. I wasn't going to waste my time complaining that my boyfriend doesn't text me back. That was stupid. I couldn't take it anymore. ''Why are you pushing me away?'' I asked angrily.

He looked as if I had just smacked him. Slowly, he regained his composure and shook his head, he seemed slightly angry. ''You shouldn't have to deal with me and my problems. I tell you that I love you and that I care about you, but I'm causing you to worry and fighting and making you upset. What kind of person am I if I do that. I love you, Keda. That's why I think it would be best if we just weren't apart of each other's lives anymore. I shouldn't put that much stress on you.''

I just looked at him, my face was contorted with anger. I took a few steps towards him, so that I was looking down at him. ''You care about me? You love me?!'' I repeated, shouting. He just nodded his head. ''No! If you cared about me, if you loved me, if you knew me, you'd know that you make me happy! That without you, I'll just be back to sitting in my room, sulking. Without you, I'd still be friends with snakes like Isabelle! Without you, I wouldn't have realized what's important! Don't you fucking say you love me when you're just going to break up with me and hope that I forget that you ever existed!'' I yelled. He stood up, and I looked up at him, into his eyes. His big, sad eyes. It made me even angrier. 

I continued my rant. ''If you loved me, you wouldn't even think of breaking up for such a stupid reason! If you loved me, you'd know that you weren't making things worse, you -''

He grabbed me and kissed me mid-rant. He held me so tightly it hurt, but I welcomed the pain. I grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him as if this would be the last time I'd ever kiss him. I kissed him and I kissed him, and then I was laying down on the bed and he was kissing me, and he kept kissing me, and I knew that I was not going to let this boy leave me. Ever.