As Bright As The Sun (Phan)

Chapter Five.

Something had defiantly changed between them, and he didn't know if it was good or bad. It felt rather good to him. He was more open with him, more willing to do things with him, they'd even cuddled a little bit the other day while watching a movie. Was that considered cuddling? Phil had put his arm around his shoulders, but was that really considered cuddling? He was so lost.

"Dan, do you think I'm attractive?"

The question caught him off guard and he choked on his tea, his eyes wide as he looked towards Phil, coughing a little bit to get air in his lungs again. They'd just been sitting on the couch watching anime as they had been for a little now, SAO. It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was, he was in love. But how was he going to answer his question? And how was he going to word it? There was no denying it, Phil was an attractive man, but he'd burned those thoughts a long time ago. It couldn't be normal to think such things about your room mate, right? Clearing his throat he spoke slowly.

"Um - Yes? I don't know what you want to hear."

"Am I lovable?"

What was with all these questions all of a sudden? He was about to ask that instead of answering him, when he saw the upset expression on his face and caved, something had happened. Phil was hurt, it was plain as day. The only thing that wasn't clear was how long he'd been hurt. Putting down his tea so it wouldn't spill, he scooted closer to the other, with an unsure expression on his face.

"W - why would you ask such a question?"

"Because Delilah left me, and said I was unlovable."

Blinking rapidly his blood began to boil. Who the hell did she think she was breaking his heart like that? It was obvious she'd said more, probably worse things, from the look on Phil's face, but he didn't question it. It wasn't the time. Wrapping his arms around his torso he laid his head on his chest and took a deep breath, trying to calm both himself and Phil.

"Yes. Your lovable. And your loved by a lot of people. If she can't see how special and wonderful you are, then she doesn't deserve your love at all, or at least that's what I think." 

He felt Phil's hand brush through his hair and he had to admit, it felt nice, it really did. He felt loved and wanted, but right now wasn't about him or how he felt, it was about Phil and how he felt. And how he felt made Dan want to throw Delilah throw a window, despite never meeting her before.

"Louise loves your, PJ loves you, Felix, Marzia, it's quite obvious. There is nothing to be worried about, okay? Before to long you'll forget who she even is. Okay?"

A question was forming in the others mind and he bit his lip as he looked up at him, what would he question? He hope he hadn't gone to far, he wasn't over her, that was a fact, had he managed to screw up this comforting thing and offend him deeply? Would he leave Dan? There was something he could live with, a life without Phil. Though he'd done just fine without him before, he couldn't imagine a life without him now.

"Do you love me?"

Every molecule in his body froze and he began to stare off into space. What the hell kind of question was that? How as he even supposed to answer that? Was there a right answer and a wrong answer? Would he end up making him sad or disgusted in the end? Was there a good ending to this? Whatever his answer was, he knew he had to say it fast, because Phil's face was crumpling and caving in. He was getting sad, and Dan would not allow that.

"Yes I do. I love you."

Both of them froze now, and neither knew what to say. He had said it quick and rushed, but it had still sounded sincere. Had he meant it? Neither of them knew, and so made them both look at each other in a shocked and astounded way. What the hell had just happened? A pink blush stained both of their cheeks and he looked away, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut. He'd messed up, he fucked up, Phil would never want to see him again, he was going to cast him away, he was going to -