She

Chapter One

Six Months Later:

"I think you might want to slow down there sweetheart." The bartender said, trying to give me advice.

Rolling my eyes I said, "Shut the fuck up. I pay you to give me drinks."

He laughed and put his hands up in the air, as if he was surrendering to me. I once again rolled my eyes at the old man.

I downed my fourth drink within the twenty minute period, feeling the slightest bit of drunk and more bored.

I whipped out my phone and pulled up my Facebook app.

Hayden Adams, I searched up.

Luckily she hadn't blocked me on all social media. Once I stopped trying she stopped blocking.

I wanted to puke, throw a glass bottle at someone's head, drive a car through a building, all when I saw the picture she saved on her profile photo.

Her beautiful face was smothered up with his face.

In my head I began screaming, cussing out people, and threw my phone at the wall but instead I muttered dick and slammed my phone onto the counter.

After I had a few more drinks and felt wasted enough to leave the bar, hoping to get hit by a car while crossing the road, I left.

Usually I wouldn't leave bars alone. I hated returning to that stupid apartment alone.

So I'd bring home a variety of people during the nights just so I didn't have to be alone with my memories.

She was off dancing away with him while I was planning my death at the sight of them.

Them when it used to be us.

But of course he was perfect and listened to her when I was just my stupid ass self.

"How could you say something like that Delilah?" Hayden asked looking away from me.

My heart began to pound at the sight of her looking like that.

"I-I'm sorry.. I don't.. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. You know I didn't mean it baby." I reached my hand out for her arm but she jerked away.

"You never think. You never mean it. Its the same damn cycle Delilah!" Now she was holding back tears but trying to hide it best to her ability.

"Hayden.. common please. You know I didn't mean it. I love you." I started to cry, I do this a lot to her. And as much as I promise to her and myself that I'll fix it and make it better I never can.

She looked at me and said, "it's okay Del. You just hurt the people you love."

That shut me up. I didn't know how to respond. My eyes widened and I stared at her as she turned and walked out of the living room.

I soon followed her to the bedroom where she was now packing her things.

"Hayden stop. What're you doing?" I yelled feeling sick watching her.

"We need to end things now Delilah. I love you but this is cracking already. You're not able to fix your mistakes. Instead you repeat them. I need to move on Del."

I began to sob as did she.

"Hayden please!" She shook her head at my pleads and stopped packing her things.

She walked to me and grabbed my hands and looked at me. "I'll always love you Del, you know it. But I... we need to move on. This is becoming a never ending cycle where we both become hurt.." she paused looking my face, "don't cry please. Think of all the fun times we've had. You've brought so much happiness to me. And I love you more than anyone for that. But we have to move on Del."

I cried but nodded. I couldn't use my words. I was to sad.

She let go of me and grabbed her one suitcase. "Where are you gonna go?"

She stiffened and then sighed turning her head towards me. She softly said, "Michaels house.."

Anger suddenly boiled up inside me.

"Michael? Michael! So there has been something going on?" I yelled.

Her eyes widened with anger as well and her face began to turn red, "No! I told you there was neve- You know what it doesn't matter! If you don't trust me that is your own damn fault."

She stormed out of the bedroom after that. I was quick to follow behind her. "Hayden!" I called out for her.

As I reached the living room I watched as the apartment door slammed shut.

I of course ran after her, but it was all to late.

"Uhh lady? Do you need me to call you an ambulance or something?" A man asked me standing over my head.

"Where the hell am I?" I asked getting up to quickly. As I fell onto the ground for a second time the man gave me an odd look.

"You're still in London. I think you might have passed out or something I don't know. Do you need an ambulance?" He asked again.

I stood up more slowly this time, "fuck no I don't need one. Leave me alone."

I began to walk away from the man after that.

Passing out after leaving a bar wasn't to uncommon for me. The amount of alcohol I consume in such short periods of time doesn't work well with my nineteen year old system.

So to me, waking up on the sidewalk with people talking over me isn't unusual.

I took my longest route home and even when I did reach the building that our apartment was once in I silently cried outside for several minutes.

But after a long deep breath, and some inspiration from a homeless man I walked into my house and straight into bed. Where I went to sleep in hopes that I could see her in my dreams.

That's the only place she is existing now.