Waited For You

Overwhelmed

     " Baby, just relax," she breaths into my ear and starts kissing down my neck.
      " Tara," I say again and I'm not really sure why I'm saying it. Do I want her to keep going or stop? Joelle laying in my lap last night turned me on more than this, but for some reason the part of me that knows why I use to do this all the time is yelling at me for even thinking about making Tara leave.
     " Landon, just kiss me ," Tara demands and I kiss her for a second before stopping and pushing her away.
     " I can't," I whisper and I think I'm more so saying it to myself than to Tara.
" You're f*cking her," she states more than asks and I just look at her for a moment, contemplating on if I wanted to explain.
       " I don't want to ruin my chances," I answer and just push her lightly off my lap and she huffs out a breath.
      " You think a girl like her is good in bed? She's a prude that thinks she's going to get this perfect love story and you're just as delusional if you stay with her," she proclaims and I look at her with anger filling my eyes.
      " I know it's hard for you to understand the concept of morals, but don't degrade someone else because you feel less than. She deserves a perfect love story because she's more than a body. Tara, do you want to be more than a body," I ask with actual concern.
      " I want you to sleep with me ," she complains and I open the blinds.
      " Well, thanks for coming by. I have business to take care of," I call out and she goes up to me, trying to get me to change my mind.
      " She can never be me," Tara says as she touches my area and I look at her before pushing her away once more.
      " I don't need her to be," I proclaim and open up the blinds and the door.
      " Enjoy your day," I smile and she walks out with the anger dripping from her body. I turn around and lean against my desk because my headache is creeping back in.
      " Long day," Joelle asks and I jump up to turn to her.
      " Come in, close the door," I proclaim and she stops in the frame.
      " Are you sure your girlfriend would appreciate that ," she asks and I dart my eyes to her.
      " She's not my girlfriend," I proclaim and she looks at me seriously.
        " She came over to me the other day to let me know you're hers," She Proclaims and I sit at my desk.
     " She's not," I say curtly and she closes the door and sits down.
       " I think this layout is ready to be presented in the next few days," Joelle says lightly and I smile as she passionately shows me her projects. She's not only beautiful, but she's good at her job.
      " Are you listening," she smiles over to me and I nod.
     " Of course, everything sounds great. Want to go eat," I ask and she shakes her head.
     " I still have some work to do, catch up to you later though," she asks and I go towards her.
" Tara is not my girlfriend and I won't let her be the reason you stop hanging out with me," I demand and her eyes shoot to me.
" I'm not some type of game Landon and you don't owe me anything. I would like to still stay friends, but I'm not going to compete for your company. It's not worth it," she claims and I have to hold back the urge to punch the wall.
" I didn't sleep with her Joelle," I nearly yell because I don't think this girl realizes that there is no competition. She's it, Joelle Parker is the only girl that I can't get out of my head.
"I haven't slept with someone since I've the day she left my office last. She came in here trying to sleep with me and I'd be lying if I didn't consider it, but I couldn't," I admit and her eyes don't alter.
" You don't sleep with someone for a week and that's suppose to win me over," she asks and I shake my head.
" Forget about sleeping with me. Forget about me being your boss, just think about you and I,"I call and her eyes are trying not to soften. She doesn't want to give in to me.
" There is no you and I Landon. We told each other more than we've probably told anyone else and I consider you a friend, but I know you can't love me," she says lowly and a tear is floating in her eye.
" Please, don't make me fall for you. I'm not good at knowing when to let go," she says and just before I can say something to her she walks out.
She walked out and I sit at my office desk with every once of anger filling me.
" I love you Landon, you can't leave me. I can't get better without you! I'm going to change! I need you to be here Landon!"
Her voice is filled with a desperate plea and I couldn't seem to let go. I know what it feels like to not be able to let go.
" Please, don't."
I let weeks go by and I don't so much as talk to Joelle. I constantly see her talking to Sam in the morning or dropping off layouts to Nova, but I steer clear because I can't hurt her.
" Tara stopped by looking for you today," Nova calls out and I look up to her from the papers I'm filling out.
" I have no need to see her, please let her become aware of that," I state looking back down and she walks away from my office.
" Sir," Nova says coming back and j look up slightly agitated.
" I don't have a reason to see her ," I say again, but then I see Joelle behind her.
" I'm sorry. This is about one of the layouts. I need to talk to you about it face to face," she proclaims and I look at Nova and then back to my papers.
" That's fine,"'I say lightly and I try to keep the overwhelmed emotion from covering my face.
" Close the door and have a seat," I say sitting back with a smile and she does an awkward smile back.
" I want to start off with just saying I appreciate you letting me work on this new project," she thanks and I smile. She's beautiful and I can't help but forget why I haven't talked to her in all this time.
" We're friends, I'm always here to help," I respond and she sits next to me in one of the chairs.
" Friends, right," she says as she lays out the papers then sits down. " Landon I'm sorry, the way I acted that day wasn't right and I had no right to be jealous about Tara," she calls and I scoot a little closer to her.
"I should be the one saying sorry, but I think we should talk about this later, over late lunch," I ask and she smiles.
" yeah, I'd like lunch," she calls before going over the plan.