Waited For You

The Past

Joelle's P.O.V
I'd be lying if I said it was easy for me to walk away. I was so lost in his eyes that were changing emotion with each shift in the couch and his body that seemed too close but not close enough at the same time.
     I can see him fighting with himself as his arm is on my thigh and my body is moving closer. He doesn't know if he wants me to give in at this point because I mean something. Does he love me? No. Does he want me to be his girlfriend? No. But am I the closest the person to all of these thoughts?
       He doesn't know what I mean to him, much like I don't know what he means to me.
" Hello honey," my dad says kissing me on the forehead and I hug him. My dad and I have grown closer and closer over the years and I feel like we're in a better place than we have been in some time.
After service my dad and I go out for breakfast and he tells me about his week at work. He opened up a car shop not long after my mother left and it was his dream before it became a chore to pay the bills.
     " One of the workers had been stealing money from me and I just figured out who it was. It's been months and the amount they've been stealing seemed to have doubled each week," he speaks lightly and I look at him with remorse. He goes above and beyond for these guys and they're bold enough to steal from him.
     " Don't let these guys get any farther into your day  then they already have," I speak lowly and he looks at me as he sips his coffee.
      " Let's talk about you," he smiles and I laugh.
     " No boyfriends first off," I smile and he looks over to me with a sigh.
     " A grandchild is just what I need right now," he proves and I laugh.
      " In due time," I respond and then look over to my dad.
      " What about that boss that gave you a promotion," he asks and I shrug.
     " He's my boss," I claim and flashes of us running around my house begins to go through my head.
         " Just your boss," he breaths out and we finish breakfast with light conversation.
      Back at home I quickly change into some shorts and a big t-shirt. I pull my hair up into a ponytail and scrub the make up off my skin.
     I'm spending the rest of the day cleaning and watching movies so that I can prepare for my day at work tomorrow.
     Knock.Knock.Knock.
   I walk over to the door with my windex in my hand and more hair out of my ponytail then in.
     " Am I interrupting something," Landon smiles over and I don't know what to feel.
      " Um, no just cleaning my house," I proclaim and he smiles over to me.
      " Well, I wanted to talk to you," he starts and I move over to let him in.
      " Yeah, of course," I proclaim and he walks in.
      " I ummm, I don't know what I really came here for," he says as he sits down while I start wiping the Windows again.
     " Your my friend, whether this makes sense or not. You don't need a reason to stop by," I proclaim and I can hear him sigh.
     " I just wanted to come and see you," he says as if it makes no sense. Him coming to see a girl that he's not sleeping with.
      " You do know that you don't have to see a girl only when you want to sleep with them," I smile and he laughs a little.
      " right , but it just seems like I'm wasting gas," he jokes and I hit him with my rag.
     " You are sick," I smile and he laughs as he takes my rag from me.
      " So how was church today," he asks me and I smile to him.
     " It was nice, my father and I went out to breakfast and talked for a while," I proclaim and he nods.
      " You and your father are close I presume," and I nod.
      " Closest thing to me," I say lightly and he looks at me with an emotion I can't pin.
      " I'm going to cook dinner in a little while," I say as I clean the mirror off  and I can feel his eyes burning into the back of me.
      " How long has it been since you've slept with someone," Landon asks and I stop cleaning so that I can turn to him.
     " Landon, friends," I repeat and he holds his hands up in surrender.
     " Friends should know about each other," he claims and I smile.
      " It's been a while, you," I proclaim and he smiles as I laugh.
      " Do you miss it," he asks and I look back to the mirror.
    " Don't move away from me Joelle. Those guys had their eyes glued to you. You sure do know how to embarrass me. Come get in bed, stop being dramatic."
      " No," I respond as I rub down the mirrors and I feel his eyes burn into me.
       " Then it must not have been done right," he says lightly and I stop.
      " You sleep with these girls with no more then a thought of where you put the condom. When you did, did it feel like it was done right," I ask but it's more of a statement because I know the answer.
     " I don't sleep with these girls so that it can be done right, I sleep with them to get release," he says and I turn to him hard.
      " Not them, her Landon," I say and we both know who she is. His face falls and all of a sudden, friends getting to know each other becomes a bad idea.
      " I don't know, she's the only person I slept with that made me feel anything," he admits and I nod.
      " Feel what ," I ask because I want him to realize that he loved someone.
" like I'm sleeping with them for more than the purpose of release," he calls and I shake my head.
" He slept with me for release. Actually, everything I was to him was rooted in me being his distraction," I say lightly and Landon gets up to come closer to me.