War of Hearts

Numb

  Alec unlocked Magnus' door and slipped inside, not wanting to wake the warlock. He laid down on the couch pulling the blanket over himself and laying his head on a pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. Sometimes it was easiest for Alec to fall asleep at Magnus' loft. And no pun intended but he was tired of sleepless nights. He felt Chairman crawl onto his tummy and he peeked one eye open. He scratched his ear gently as he got comfortable.
"Mew?"
"Don't wake him, okay?"
"Merroww?"
Alec stretched his arms up towards the ceiling, looking the runes over on his arms. He knew what his problem was. He didn't feel safe at the institute. He couldn't be Magnus' Alexander... he was only Alec.
At the institute he couldn't love Magnus freely. At the institute he couldn't love anyone freely. But when he stepped inside Magnus' loft... he could genuinely be himself. Alec had tried and tried so hard... so hard to be what his parents wanted him to be....

"Alexander?" Magnus' voice like silk broke his thought. "Why are you sleeping out here?" He sat on the floor beside the couch that Alec was stretched out on.
"If- you want I can leave... I just.."
He put a finger to Alec's lips. "I don't want you to leave." He said firmly, cat eyes locking with sapphire.
"I'd like to know- more so- why you haven't been... answering me..."
Alec looked down a bit ashamed- he had been ignoring every call and text from Magnus for the past week. His heart thudded in his chest.
"I- I was confused." He finally admitted quietly.
"Confused?" Magnus looked concerned.
"That night – and ..."
Magnus gently tugged on his hand. "Come on." He muttered.
"why are you awake?" Alec sat up.
"I needed comfort food..." he admitted quietly, seeming slightly embarrassed.
"I wasn't ignoring you because I didn't want to talk to you... I wanted to do that more than anything else... I just. I didn't want to-.."
"Alec, darling, it's quite alright..."
"No- you don't understand"
"I don't need you to explain to me, you don't have to answer me..." Magnus stated simply. "I understand that you must be incredibly confused---"
"Magnus"
"Maybe I went too far?" he asked Alec wondering if he had pushed the limits of his virtues too far and now he was just ashamed of everything.
"Magnus"
"I should have taken into consideration that you never..."
Alec gripped Magnus by his collar and crushed his lips against the Warlock's. Magnus melted into the kiss and when it broke Alec crossed his arms.
"Will you be quiet and listen now?"
Magnus nodded.
"I wasn't trying to ignore you- I just... I've been so irritated that I can't just have you – that I can't just tell my family and have it be okay... I've been training until I passed out- just trying to get all of that stress..."
Magnus bit his lip and stood up slowly. "want some ice-cream?"
"Yes. "
Magnus grabbed the gallon of pistachio ice cream from the freezer and sat at the table, grabbing two spoons and opening it.
"Weren't you going to take it back to your room?" Alec asked.
Magnus gave him a coy smile. "If you'd want to come back there with me" he stood and carried the ice cream and spoons back, Alec following close behind.

~~~~~

Magnus scooped a spoonful up, only to have it stolen by Alec, who playfully leaned down and took it right from his spoon.
"Traitor" Magnus teased.
Alec smirked mischievously and set his spoon down in the ice cream, laying his head on Magnus' shoulder. "So this is what you do all night?"
"No... just when I'm stressing." Magnus replied setting the nearly empty gallon on the floor beside the bed and turning to pull Alec into his arms. "I missed you."
Alec snuggled close and closed his eyes. "I missed you too." He admitted.
They laid there in silence for a few minutes.
"Hey, Magnus?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Magnus felt his heart skip. "I love you too...Alexander"
"Night" he replied a small grin on his face.
"Good night..."
Magnus wanted desperately to stay awake, cherishing the young Shadowhunter in his arms. Try as he may, he needed rest. So off to sleep he drifted. Alec still in his arms.