(More of) Victoria's Rants

☞ 1d crying session #946

it's four in the morning and I was stalking people and apparently liam is starting a solo career?!?! but one direction?!?!

I'm crying you don't even understand wHAT THE FUCK WORLD THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING WHY LIAM WHY I MEAN I LOVE YOU AND I SUPPORT YOUR DECISIONS BUT STILL WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ME I WAS DOING FINE JUST MINUTES AGO IM

my heart hurts. like my world is currently just crumbling and I don't know what I'd do without one direction. these boys have become a big part of me since 2012,  and to watch them leave makes me want to drown in a puddle of my tears. first zayn leaves, I was heartbroken. I literally listened to midnight memories every night for the longest time and just lied in bed wishing I could go back in time. and now liam is out of the band too? ugh. my heart is just . . . rip.

I wish liam the best with his singing career and I'll give his music a listen like I did with zayn (tbh, his album wasn't really my thing, but he had good songs that just aren't my taste). he has an incredible voice and if this is what he wants, I'll support him every moment of the way. (fun fact, he was my first favorite member of one direction, he was so dreamy back then omg [he still is now js])

there's also things saying he's not leaving the band, just starting a career during the hiatus. I hope if it's true, but if it isn't, it'd be cool to see him doing stuff solo, right?

I'm just really scared and nervous for what the future holds for 1d. I'm currently watching hannah montana to make me feel better, after hearing the news and having another crisis about why I look like a stupid potato—my self esteem was really low and I felt really insecure about the way I look—as usual! such fun.

I won't go into detail, but basically I saw my crush and people who I thought were prettier than me and yeah you know the deal.

it's four a.m. and I'm just emotional ASF rn.