We Bought a Zoo-Falling Apart

Chapter 6-Questioning best friends

"So, you wanna hang out sometime?" Matthew didn't really seem surprised by the Leon thing. I tried again. 

"How's Leon? He's my brother." I repeated, giving him a serious look. 

He gave a sigh. "Yeah, I heard the first time." I could sense annoyance in Matthew's voice. Clearly, this was not something he wanted to talk about. "We're not exactly on the best terms... I mean, we're chill and all, but yeah." He quickly stood up from his desk. "Well, I'm gonna go talk to some other guys." He walked towards Dylan's direction, where Dylan was talking with all his friends. I saw Matthew confidently walk up to them, and introduce himself. 

I was really puzzled. First, Matthew says that he would never leave Leon, now he says that they hate each other? Leon's not exactly the nicest guy, and I can understad, but Matthew seems like the person that would be Leon's destined friend. I wanted to know more. It wasn't necessarily any of my business, but Leon was my brother, therefore it is my business.

"Matthew!" I tried to yell across the classroom without the teacher noticing. When he didn't turn around, I gave a frustrated sigh. I wanted to know more about Leon. Was there something wrong with Leon? Was he doing drugs, or something stupid? Leon was only in 10th grade... but still. High school is different from middle school, or junior high school, or whatever you want to call it. 

I decided to just let it go. It could wait, and I could talk to Matthew tomorrow. I grabbed my backpack and left the room as the bell rang, shooting one last glance at Matthew. Matthew didn't look up. I didn't expect him to, considering I only stared at him. Matthew was too obsessed with Dylan and his new friends. I wish if it was that easy for me on my first day of school. 

Leaving the classroom, I gave a sigh as I realized that I would once again, be alone. My old friends decided to end our relationship last summer, and they weren't the nicest and most wonderful friends either. I just didn't fit them, or anyone else in this school. I pushed open the glass door that led to the track and field, and I plopped down under the shade of a tree. 

I took off my backpack and moved it so it was laying besides me. Hugging my knees to my chest, I shivered. It was fall, and coming close to winter. I preferred summer much more because you didn't have to worry about bringing a jacket or not, and it was much more relaxed. Fall and winter have tons of holidays, but you still have school that you pretend that it's not there, but as soon as winter break ends, it's back.

 I was sad. I didn't know why I was sad. Was it because Matthew was extremely attractive and he completely ignored me? Was it because I really missed my family back in San Francisco? I really didn't know. 

I'm happy I'm alone today. If I had to talk to anyone, I wouldn't be very fun.

"Hey."

Great. Just my luck. "Hey Dylan." I gave a slight sigh as I recgonized his voice. "Do you want something?"

Please so no and leave. Please. C'mon Dylan!

"You looked kind of down. That's why." Dylan sat down next to me on the grass.

That would be the response that I'd want my future boyfriend to have (as if.). I decided to respond to Dylan with sarcasm. "Go get a girlfriend. Everyone would looveee to have Dylan as their boyfriend, and maybe you'd leave me alone."

Dylan gave a slight chuckle after I said that. He saw my annoyance, and said, "Okay, I'm just gonna go." Dylan stood up and began to walk away, heading around the corner.

I took a deep breath. Maybe I'd feel better if I talked to Dylan about all my terrible problems. I wasn't on my period or anything, and I just needed to let it all out. I was sure of that. "Dylan, wait." 

Dylan stopped walking, then came back and sat down next to me. "Look, I'm just trying to be a friend. You just looked kind of lonely and I'm just trying to help." 

"You've helped. Can you just listen to me rant, for like, five minutes?" I really wanted to talk to Dylan, since he was a guy and he'd understand why Matthew was being lame, or whether I liked Matthew or whether things just suck in life for me. 

Dylan gave me a face, like an "Are you an idiot, Lilly" face. "Yeah, we're best friends. Isnt' that what we're supposed to do?"

I laughed. "I feel like this is a cliche disney movie where the get a guy and girl to be main characters to balance it out."

"What?" Dylan gave a confused face.

"Nevermind. Well-" I felt stupid. I was blabbering about Disney shows-what? Why would you do that Lilly?

I felt all this pressure around Dylan. He seemed different now. 

I was cut off by the yelling of a guy. "Dylan! There you are! You've got to see what Caleb's doing!" Eric, a troublemaker in our class and part of Caleb's friends, was panting and he was really red. Knowing Dylan's group, they were probably laughing at Matthew stuffing food up his nose or something immature. 

"Coming!" Dylan quickly stood up and began to round the corner with Eric. "I'll talk to you at home, okay?" Quickly giving me a thumbs up, Dylan was gone.

So much for being best friends. 

Should I find him in the loft later? I didn't want to be one of those stingy friends or clingy girl friends (we are only friends though) who will complain everytime he leaves. Having a guy/girl relationship is different from a girl girl best friend forever relationship. You have to respect each others interests, but you can understand and relate to people of the opposite gender, therefore seeing their points of views.

I just feel that guy/girl relationships are deeper.

And in general, there aren't as many relationships that end well than the relationships that don't. 

----

I sat down on the picnic bench and was typing on my laptop, while listening to a sad song. I was feeling empty and sadness was just pouring out of me. It was as bad as heartbreak-the heartbreak that I've experienced. The heartbreak of having someone not like you, it makes your chest hurt and you just wishing it would stop. That was a long time ago with Dylan last year. It may not have been legit "love", yeah it was just a little crush. But it still hurts a ton. 

I knew why I was sad. I was homesick. But what would realizing and admitting that help me with? I didn't want to leave the zoo. I loved it here. My family was a bit on the crazy side, and they didn't seem to enjoy my presence. Then again... I had been here for 2 years already. 

It's not normal to live with your aunt for so long, away from your family. Everytime they visit, I wish I could go home with them and just stay with them.

Was it time to go back home? 

Author's note

Okay, so I've finally been wriitng and updating again. I'm trying to make my chapters more detailed and descriptive and longer. Feel free to leave me a comment or anything (: The reason I started writing again was because of Nanowrimo (google it). My language arts teacher doesn't require that we do it, but other teachers at my school do, and all my friends are doing it. Since I don't see the point of copy and pasting everything into a new doc, I'm just going to try my best to write more often, until I finish the book.

As of now, there's no story line (kill me now.) that's why I was stuck for so long, since I felt as this book was the exact same as the previous one, drifting away. Now, I sort of have one in my head. 

Anyhow, I will try to update every 2 weeks. It's hard to get time in for writing at this point, but it definitely does make me happy and calm me down.

~Lilian