Becoming The Shadows (Shadow Series #4)

20 - CDC

"Coffee?" I hand over the paper cup filled with delicious french vanilla coffee that made in my apartment. I set my own coffee down in the cup holder and hand off the other cup to my best friend in the driver's seat. 

"Mm. Thank you." Lydia smiles, graciously. She sips the coffee and hums in delight. "You should be a barista or something." 

I chuckle while buckling the seat belt around me. "I'm glad you appreciate my barista talents." I pick up my own coffee, eagerly drinking it. "So, everyone else is at the school taking the exam, what are we up to today?" 

Lydia sets the coffee down in the other cup holder. She avoids my gaze as she pulls out of the parking lot of the apartment building. I frown at her silence. 

I poke her in the arm. "Lydia?"

"How was the talk with Parrish?" She adverts my question with her own question. Her lips purse with her eyes glued to the road. 

I slowly set my coffee down. "I told him that Scott would explain everything." I narrow my eyes at her. "Lydia, where are we going?" I ask her again.

"Hmm?" She plays dumb. 

"Lydia Martin, where are we going?" 

Her face scrunches up as she says, "Derek's." 

My mouth falls open, "What? But- I'm not ready! I was trying to prepare for this!" 

Lydia sighs, "I know you were, but you keep putting it off." She side glances at me, lips pressed together in a thin line. "He deserves to know that you're still alive, Clara."

"I-I know that." I anxiously tug on the sleeves of my oversized sweater. An uneasy feeling sits in the pit of my stomach just thinking about telling Derek who I really am. I feel happy and giddy, yet nervous at the same time. 

"Well, we're telling him today." Lydia pulls on the road that leads to downtown. "You didn't have plans anyways." 

I shrink back in my seat, hand stretching out for my coffee. Sadly, Lydia is right. I have kind of been putting this off, mainly because I didn't know how I was going to explain it to him. Someone would have to come with me because I can actually tell him myself. 

We sit in silence with the radio quietly playing for the rest of the drive. The drive to Derek's apartment building doesn't take too long. I find myself nervously fidgeting in the passenger seat by the time Lydia shuts the car off once we are parked. 

The whole ride up in the elevator, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. My heart was beating erratically and I couldn't stop freaking myself out in my head. In a few minutes, Derek would know I'm still alive. All at the same time, I wanted to cry of happiness and puke. 

Lydia looks at me once before knocking on the loft door. Just a few seconds pass before Derek slides the door open and he stares at the two of us in confusion. "Derek, we need to talk." Lydia states.

Derek looks from her to me. "Come in." He steps to the side to allow us to bypass him. 

Lydia grabs my hand and drags me inside, like she knew I was struggling to move. She leads me inside of the loft and I find myself getting hit with waves of nostalgia. All of this reminds me of being with Derek. The first guy I ever fell in love with.

"I don't have much time to talk." Derek keeps the door open as he walks towards us. 

I press my lips together, curious to know how Lydia plans on starting this. Lydia moves her head from me to Derek, suddenly realizing that she's the one that has to actually tell him.