the 100, NIGHTBLOOD

32 - That's Me + murphy

SEASON 2

"You're just an asshole Murphy! Nothing more, nothing less." You screamed at the turned back in front of you.

The tears in the corner of your eyes stung at your heart, grow up. That's all you could think, he is in the wrong here, not you. But still the coldness of him aggravated you but then again, if he was to rip his lungs screaming like you, you wouldn't not what to do.

"That's me." He said, it sounded like a confession, Murphy didn't want to be the criminal anymore, he didn't want to break the rules, or your heart.

The sand underneath your feet was uneven, it added to your frustration. You had never felt sand or been on a beach before, it was horrible. Everything was horrible to you, the moon in the sky, the silence that engulfs the beach besides the crashing of waves and the echo of your voice. You hated your voice, it sounded weak and pathetic, which made you want to shout even more.

"I trusted you, and now? Now we're stuck on a damn island. There is no City of Light okay?" You paced around the beach anxiously as he stood rooted to the spot looking at the nearby lighthouse.

"Shut up." He demanded, his voice like gravel, scraping at your ears.

"Why should I? If you didn't notice I am pissed off, I'm not going to listen to what you say anymore! Look at the mess I am in because I did." You wipe away the tear on your cheek.

You left behind everything once the Ark station came down with you on it, it was a dream come true; the Ground. You met Murphy in Camp Jaha and it was a whirlwind of a friendship, something that swept you off your feet and shot you to the other side of the World. Soon you trusted him completely, you always were easily influenced and when he told you of The City of Light, it sounded like your future.

You left your surviving friends and took Murphy's hand, it felt natural, it had felt right. You put your faith in a criminal, that was your first mistake. The second was letting the unease and uncertainty stay inside you, the fear you had pushed away for months was reaching a tipping point. Your anger was to cover your cowardliness.

"If you hadn't realised I am a bit pissed off myself. I came all this way for some fucking sand." He turned and you could see his bloodshot eyes but he hasn't been crying. The scars stood out against the little bit of stubble on his cheeks and neck, he looked tired and that broke your heart, even though you didn't love him, you didn't; but he was your best friend.

"We. We did this. You, me and Jaha came here, people lost their life to come here. And it's all bullshit!"

"What do you expect me to do?" He shouted quickly at you, the breath ragged in between his clenched teeth, "Say I'm sorry? Tell you everything is going to be alright?"

"I want you to talk to me! Instead of running away to your own little world and leaving me here," You try to regain your composure as he wipes his nose with the back of his hand and you fumble with your light clothing. The next you say calmly, "From now on we do things together because I know damn well that I need Murphy otherwise I will die out here."

"I'm not your babysitter." He added.

"I'm not dying." You reply, you say it with pure determination because in all honesty, you're scared. Scared that this is the end of the road, that the dream is now a nightmare and it's all your fault.

"You don't get to make that decision." He said slowly, letting his body fall down to the sand and he lay there, looking up to the stars. He looked tired, you can see the dark circles and wonder if you have the same. You can see his matted hair and how already wet sand is sticking to it.

"I'm trying to delay it for as long as possible Murphy." You sit down next to him, your anger slowly releasing as you begin to dig a small hole beside you, the feeling of sand somehow soothing against your skin.

"How's that decision going? Hungry yet?" He retorted sarcastically and you turned your face and creased your eyebrows in surprise and disgust. Murphy's eyes had glazed over as he stared out to the sea

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Why not? Like you said before, I don't need to listen to you. Okay, you don't know what it's like out here. I should never have let you come." He replied.

"So what's it like then, what have I been missing out on? The naive girl who came down with the Ark, the girl who saw her parents volunteer to be killed so she could have a chance to live a few more days. Who then finds out it was for nothing, that they could have lived and felt the sun on their face and the breeze in their hair. But they died and now she is here, running away from the people that let that happen, so what have I missed? You know everything about me and I know nothing about you Murphy."

"You don't want to know about me. If you did, you wouldn't be here. I'll save you the sob story of parents dying and blaming their son and skip to the good bit. The bit on the Ground where he is hung for a crime he didn't commit, then banished with nothing. So he survives one night, not letting the dark thoughts take over his mind, then he finds people. People who torture him, who beat him for three days, give him a deadly disease and send him back to camp to use as a weapon. Who is treated like crap by everybody he meets, who runs away and then is talked into believing a stupid dream of the most hated man on the Ark. A stupid dream that is going to kill him and a girl who doesn't deserve to die. A girl he thought was finally making him a better person. So yeah, that's me. Jonathan Murphy."

You just sit there for over five minutes, both staring out into the sea and playing with the sand until you finally find the words in your head, "We're fucked aren't we?"

"Completely fucked."