Dear Future Me

Chapter 2: Back to Where it all Came Crashing Down

2016!Dan-

"Dan! H-hey Dan, wake up!"

I shoot up straight at the sound of my name and the feel of a hand on my shoulder, lightly shaking me awake. "Huh, oh—uh, Phil? Sorry, what's up?" I ask casually as I'm gathering my surroundings.

I was sat at my computer desk, my tabs all minimized, presumably due to my finger clicking the minimize button before falling asleep. I scratch the top of my head, yawning as I turn towards Phil who seemed slightly startled. I seemed to have caught a glint of shock from my response in his eyes.

"It's nothing, I'm sorry I woke you up after what just happened. I just- I thought I'd suggest you head to bed since it's nearly five and I figured you'd be more comfortable sleeping there than here at your desk." He replied, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Why was he acting so weird? And after what just happened? What the hell is he talking about, us editing the gaming video together? What was wrong with that?

I stand up and in return, he steps back, carefully making sure to give me personal space for some odd reason. I get a closer look at his face before replying, noticing his younger look and the absence of his ears do to his hair style. "Hey, Phil, have you been using lotion or something? What's with your hair? I know you cut it like, three weeks ago, but there's no way it could grow back that fast."

He was thrown off by these questions. "Um, no to the lotion question, and I don't know what you're talking about as for the second one. Is uh—everything alright? I mean, you're acting kind of weird right now."

"Um, yeah? At least I think everything is alright. It all depends, because last I knew I was editing a gaming video with you and fell asleep on your shoulder. Now, I'm woken up at my desk by you, who is acting like I just went off on you or something." I answer, my tone apathetic, still not quite sure exactly where I was, despite standing inside of what was definitely my room.

Phil's eyes widen in surprise."Wait, wait, wait, you asleep on my shoulder?! A gaming video? Acting like you just blew up at me—Dan, what're you going on about? You did just blow up at me. We literally just had a full fledge argument not even half an hour ago, are you seriously thinking that just sitting here and ignoring it and making things up that never happened will make the problem go away?" He asks, clearly trying hard not to raise his voice much in an attempt to avoid an argument.

I pause for a really long time, having literally nothing to say in reply to his words. What the honest fuck was he talking about? The only real time we had gotten into a gigantic fight was in— wait.

"Phil, you are going to think I'm insane for asking this— But, what's the date?"

He looks over at me as if I was crazy, which really wouldn't come as a surprise to me if I was at the moment. "What? Dan, isn't that obvious? Shouldn't you be aware of the date? Its called common

sense."

"Just- tell me the date please. I'm serious."

Wow, nice going me. Why am I trying to sound so intimidating? This isn't some drama movie where I'm the bad boy cool kid with that fucked up yet enticing back story.

He rolls his eyes. "It's July 28th."

"And the year?"

"Seriously Dan?"

"Phil, just tell me the year—Please."

Phil lets out an annoyed sigh. "2012," He states simply. "Dan, why're you asking such simple questions?" He asks, gawking at me while holding back an eye roll.

"Oh my god, what? No, no, no, no, no what do you mean it's 2012? That's not possible. So like, you're 25? And me— I'm 21?"

I begin to just spit out weird remarks, pacing around my room in complete shock, confusion, and just fear over all. Why the hell was I here!? I was in the year where yeah, my channel may have really kicked off, but by far was not the best year I could ask to go back to.

"July 28th, that means we just moved in here barely a week ago... So why do I have stuff from 2016 he-" I look around the room to see there wasn't a single thing from the time late 2012 to 2016 in my room and I am convinced that I am literally going insane, or didn't pay attention enough to see my surroundings were quite different than the way I left them.

"Wait, Dan stop." Phil puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from pacing, "Did you say 2016, what are you talking about?" He looks me directly in the eyes and that's when I really saw proof that I was back to that day in 2012.

His eyes, the ones that were normally a glowing a mixture of blues, greens and even a small dash of golden yellow—they were drained. Underneath his eyes were bags from those sleepless nights I knew and always hated that he went through. They were drained of all happiness and hope. Sadness, desperation, and even a hint of anger replacing any emotions that were positive. His eyes also were slightly puffy and red. I looked down at his cheeks to see they were painted with tear streaks that I could tell were there only less than an hour ago. I didn't know all of this just by looking at it, I knew this because I knew this exact day. I remember punching the walls to the point my knuckles were nearly raw and screaming into my pillow in anger as I heard the light sounds of sobbing in the room next to me. I knew the pain he was in now because four years ago, I felt and knew the same pain he felt. Four years ago, probably just before I woke up at my desk, I got into the biggest fight with Phil, and it made me angry at myself to the point I became violent. I locked my door after the huge fight we got in and I refused to believe what had just come out of my mouth only 2 minutes ago. When I imagined the pain I gave him I just— I lost it, I couldn't handle it.

I mentally slap myself in the face back into reality and just embrace Phil in a hug, forgetting his original question but still trying to answer it to the best of my ability. "I'll tell you what might be going on in a second. Right now, I just need to tell you that I am terribly sorry for what has and will happen within the next few months. I will be a complete and total arshole and I'm not going to defend myself for it. But, just believe me when I say this— On his, well, my behalf, I am so so deeply sorry for everything Phil." I mumble into his shoulder, tears beginning to fall and slide down my cheeks.

I don't know why I'm here, and I'm not exactly happy to be back. But, I definitely have plans for what I intend to do while I'm stuck in 2012.