Endless Summer.

.06

it took a lot of coaxing but i got everyone to pitch in for a motel room for the night-i was seriously going to rip out my own eyeballs if i had to sit in the car for another night. they agreed and together we bought a room for the remainder of the night; the room had double beds thankfully. "hello?" i heard cane's wearisome voice through the speakers of the cheap phone. i'd loaded some minutes on there and decided to give my worried brother a call.

"it's lonny," i stated. he exhaled in response, probably thankful to hear from me again. it'd been days. "i was just letting you and harper know that i'm fine. we're still on the road though. just bought a room for the night." i quickly updated him while checking to see if the coast was clear. i sat in the car for a minute while everyone settled inside of the room.

"lonny..." he started. this made him sound like our mom. "mommy called and she's really worried. like really worried; the cops are looking for you guys," my heart began to beat faster at this. She was worried. "i know it's hard there but you need to come back home. this is scaring us. you're only sixteen."

"i'm fine, cane." i tried to reassure him. i didn't even know if i believed myself.

"i don't care, lonny. you're making very poor decisions right now and i don't know if it's because of your friends or this boyfriend of yours but you know this isn't right. please just come home. we're worried sick." i could hear shuffling in the background.

"is that him?" my mother's soft voice sounded further away. "give me the phone." she ordered. of course, cane obliged. i was quiet when she grabbed the phone which gave her room to talk a mile a minute. "lonell jones! are you okay? where are you? you need to come back! i can't even sleep without you here. lonny? lonny!" i didn't speak. i just closed the flip phone, deciding that was enough guilt for the day.

i felt nauseous from how remorseful i felt. i stared down at the phone, my eyes brimming with tears. this wasn't right.

"why...do you have that?" nasir's voice peeled me away from my thoughts. i snapped my head in his direction, watching as he pointed to the phone in my hand. i didn't realize he'd came back to the car for something. "we said no phones."

"i know. i-"

"why are you crying? what's the matter, lonny?" his voice softened. i watched his lips pulled into a tight frown as he rubbed his forehead, signaling that he had a headache. his hair was pulled into a messy puff as he stared at me, waiting for an answer. i didn't respond so we just stood in silence.

"i don't think i can do this anymore," my voice was shaky and raspy as i took careful breaths. "my mom and cane are worried sick, nasir." icovered my mouth to contain a sob, or maybe a dry heave. he watched me carefully, unsure of what to say as i fought more tears.

"you wanted this." he finally said, folding his arms over his chest. "i didn't make you run away, lonny. you concocted this plan with us so why back out now?" i opened my mouth to speak.

"you guys good?" kelsi called, now peeking out of the room door. i quickly regained my composure and stood up straight. nasir turned around, visibly annoyed.

"peachy." he muttered before turning towards the room.

once i came inside, the tension felt thick enough to slice with a knife. everyone stared at me with contempt or confusion, maybe even annoyance.

mesi was the first to speak, of course. "so you want to go back?" his voice was careful, as if to test my mood.

"i..." i sat down on the edge of the empty bed while everyone either stood up or laid down on the other one. nasir paced back and forth, visibly anxious. "i don't know. my mom and brother are really worried about me." i tried to explain.

june was next. "if we go back now, we're fucking screwed. my dad's going to send me off to a boarding school in Norway, that's why i had to do this." she trailed off, her eyes welling with tears. i blinked at this. deep down, i got the sudden urge to ask her if she thought i gave a fuck. but i just nodded as if i understood her troubles.

"so that's it," theo started, laughing in disbelief. he looked pissed. "we're going back? i don't think you understand, lonny." The lanky boy stood up, now inching closer to me. "if we go back now, our already shitty lives are going to be worse."

"you don't think i know that?" i snapped, my voice louder than his. "y'know what, just forget i said anything, let's just fucking go to sleep."