Dear Diary ...Help Me Find Myself? (Lgbt)

Chapter 10 - [_F_R_I_E_N_D_S_?] - I Doubt It

Dear Dee

I know now. That its the first time I've been in love and it happens to be with a girl . I also know that in my whole entire life I never had anyone make me feel this way before, ever . Someone who seemed to be just a distant dream  a few days ago . Someone that had me falling in love with all the little things she did . Things I don't even think she knew she was doing .

Being oblivious to the fact that she had left her laces of love untied and Me being as vulnerable as I was tripping completely over it . Falling face first , into a daze of amazingness ... Feeling like the world would be a better place if I spent all my days with her . And that everything would be fine if I saw those gorgeous eyes. And if was greeted with that breathtakingly beautiful smile everyday ? Everything else im the world could cease to exist and it wouldn't matter to me. Nothing would matter , nothing but Leighton Thomas .

But thats just what my messed up head was wanting - The lie I was telling myself because if It was all coming from my head then why does me thinking about her make my heart hurt? My heart hurt because I realised that just thinking about the fact that we could never be makes my chest shatter with intense pain . A pain I imagine being shot in the heart would feel like .

And after the day Leighton and I had , It gets worse . She's been the only thing on my mind since she left to go home earlier tonight .

She had kissed me on my check and you know how in stories and movies the girl always gets the flutter of butterflies flying about in her tummy? I now fully understood the concept . Because right at that moment a whole kaleidoscope of little fluttering rainbows felt like they were forcing their way out of my bellybutton !  She thanked me for the day and we said our goodbyes and then she went .

I got so wrapped in my feelings that I forgot to tell you about the day we had Dee !

I had packed us a picnic and when Leighton came down after her shower we had breakfast . Right after that I grabbed a jacket and got one for Leighton as well. We were going to need it later. We got in my car and I drove us down to the beach . There I set up the picnic for us and we had a great time laughing and just taking a breather for a while . Everything was going well when suddenly she touched my cheek ,feeling her thumb caress it . My heartbeat rapidly increasing as its pace fastened . I took a deep breath . I was just about to close my eyes when I heard her say " There I got all of it " as I saw her licking some cream of her finger . It must've been all over my face, making me look like a total retard !

I felt like a complete idiot for thinking she'd kiss me !! I mean people like her didn't go around kissing socially awkward people like me !! I tried as best as I can to smile and try and forgot what happened . And I did . We got some ice-cream and then walked around on the beach a little . Just talking . Talking about everything . And joking , and laughing and her pausing occasionally to wait for me to stop laughing . I literally laughed so hard I was hugging my tummy sitting on the floor because I couldn't control the fits of laughter . When I stopped though she'd be standing there one hand on her hip and the other one offering to help me up . Telling me that her jokes weren't even that funny .

We walked a little more and then she scrunched down so that I could get on her back ,so I did and she carried me into the water throwing me in as she fell in herself . I don't ever remember having this much a good time with anyone in the whole sixteen years of my existence !

We even watched as the sunset beautifully looking like it was resting on a big blue pillow of sea. It was spectacular ! I didn't even realise we were there that long

When we finally got back to the car I was freezing my ass off and I could see she was too . We got in and I handed her the jacket I brought for her as I got my own one on . Loving the snuggly warm feeling . We stopped to get some coffee on our way home . I asked where she lived so that I could drop her off . She explained to me and we were infront of her house a couple minutes later . I got out to greet her . And I already told you the about Butterfly incident Dee ! ( blush ,blush )

She's so perfect ..... (dreamy eyes)

But talk you later Dee

Eye_La_View !

Live...•

Love....<3

Laugh......:'D

LGBT............*

( A.N / Soooo I took really long to write this chapter , probably two hours or so ...so appreciate it . I don't really know where I'm heading with this book. But its really nice having to write it . It makes me think that true love might actually exist , in any form ,shape or size . And that it doesn't matter if you Straight, Gay , Lesbian , Transgender , Pansexual or whatever We are all human and there shouldn't be labels involved in that . Famous last words :

" Love is love and it knows no boundries . Don't let anyone ever steal your pride . Take out insurance on it and have an alarm-system set up to protect it if you have to but never ,ever let it get stolen by the thiefs named SOCIETY."

-Thee_Miss_Vee

Lol....Hope it was enjoyable )