"Jasmine you said this a thousand times already. It's only going to get worse."
Yeah things may get worse but who says things can't get better?
***TRIGGER FREAKING WARNING! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/ABUSE IS A MAJOR SUBJECT IN THIS BOOK. IF YOU FIND IT TRIG...
As soon as we landed in New York City we grabbed our luggage and got in an uber. We stopped by Andrew's apartment and dropped off our bags. According to Shawn we were only here for the day then we would be on a flight to London.
Shawn grabbed my hand as we walked around the New York City streets making our way to time square.
I admired all the fast pace movement. People rushing to their next destination, the traffic. It was so loud and busy. I love it.
"We're going Shopping. But later tonight we're also going to dinner so we need to get you an outfit for that." Shawn says pulling me out of my amazement.
It's funny how many times I've been to New York with Shawn and never really paid attention to our surroundings. I guess it was because we were always in a rush to get someplace so I didn't get a chance to appreciate how beautiful the city truly is.
Shawn dragged me into Forever 21. "Get whatever you want, it's all on me." He smiled kissing my forehead before heading to the guys section of the store to find things for himself.
He's truly amazing.
I don't understand why he's doing so much for our anniversary. We've known each other for years, he knows he doesn't have to make a huge deal for our anniversary.
***
After shopping we were able to get ready for our dinner at Andrew's since he was going to be out for the rest of the night. I grabbed the dress I brought earlier and walked into the bathroom. I did my hair and makeup before slipping into the dress. Once I was finished I walked out the bathroom to see Shawn already dresssd.
Shawn had out his phone when he looked up at me.
"Damn baby!" he exclaimed recording me. "Turn around." I blushed and spun in a circle. "THATS MY GIRL!" He yelled causing me to laugh. It was clear that he was recording me for snapchat. Shawn put his phone down and walked over to me wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my forehead.
"You look stunning baby." He said pecking my lips before pulling back to admire me again.
"We have reservations at Le Bernardin's in like 30 minutes. I called an Uber they should be here soon." Shawn said smiling down at me.
Shawn locked Andrew's apartment before we headed downstairs to wait. Shawn wouldn't stop taking pictures of me. He finally stopped when the Uber pulled up in front of us.
On the drive to the restaurant Shawn tweeted a picture of me.
@ShawnMendes: Look how beautiful my queen is 😍👸
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I smiled at Shawn and retweeted the tweet ignoring all the hate comments calling me ugly or fat. I learned not to even pay attention to them. They just want to be me. I know that sounds really cocky and stuck up but it's obvious. Who doesn't want to be engaged to the Shawn Peter Raul Mendes??
We arrived at the restaurant and were instantly seated and handed menus.
The waiter came by with two wine glasses and asked Shawn which wine would be good for the occasion.
Shawn choose the California Chardonnay to go with the lobster we were going to order. The waiter poured our glasses of wine before taking our orders.
Shawn and I talked about everything and anything.
"You know you don't have to do this right? I would've been okay with flowers and some chocolate." I said. He's spending so much money for no reason. I offer to pay for things and he'll instantly refused. Last night in Paris I went out to get a small souvenir while Shawn was in the shower and he got really mad at me for buying it. He then made it very clear that I'm not allowed to spend any money on our vacation because this vacation is his treat.
"I know I don't have to but I want to. You deserve this especially with everything I've put you through."
"You're so sweet." I smiled at him. The conversation had died down and we sat in a comfortable silence until Shawn broke the silence.
"I messed up so much in the past and I really just want to make everything up to you and I couldn't find a better time to do it than now. I can't promise you a perfect relationship because no relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its problems. I don't think you understand how much you mean to me. You were ready to leave me 3 months ago and I keep thinking about how much I would hate myself if you left me. Some night I couldn't Sleep because I was thinking about all the what ifs. The point is I can't promise that I'll be perfect but I won't give up trying to be the best me as long as you don't give up on me." Shawn says looking me in the eyes not daring to break eye contact with me.
But he still has that look in his eyes, the one he had in his eyes the first day in Paris. It's like whenever he expresses his love for me this look just appears in his eyes. He's hiding something.
Is he?
I don't want accuse him of hiding something if he's not.
Maybe that look in his eyes isn't the look of him hiding something from me, it's probably the look he gives when he's being serious and showing his affection and love towards me.
Damn how do I not know all of Shawn's facial expressions by now?
"I would never give up on you Shawn. I've always had hope that'll change your ways and so far you're not failing me." I smiled at him.
