Between the Lines

Mechanical

She looked up from her brown leather bound book and groaned when she saw the time. It was one in the morning and she had to be up at four for school. And she couldn't be late. She quickly put her diary under her mattress and crawled under her blankets. She held her teddy bear close and shut off her light. It wasn't until her head hit her pillow that she realized how tired she was. She could hear her parents arguing in the living room downstairs. They were screaming at eachother again. She hated when they fought but it seemed to be becoming a regular occurrence. She just squeezed her eyes shut and put her ear buds in to drown out the noise. She flipped through her playlist putting on lost boy by Ruth B. She slowly drifted to sleep listening to the melody of a misunderstood girl getting lost in her imagination. She wished for her own savior to wisk her away to a better place where she truly belonged and could be free from the pain of life here in this broken house. Before she knew it, she was awoken by the blaring sound of the alarm she set on her phone.

It was another bleak, gray Monday morning which seemed to fit her mood perfectly. It was still dark outside and the brisk autumn air hit her face as she opened the window. There wasn't a soul outside yet she was up at this ungodly hour. It was only October yet she was already dreading school. Normally the excitement of the new school year kept her going through December but this year was different. She put on her slippers and she slowly made her way to the bathroom. The bright white lights were a shock to her drowsy system and instantly woke her up. She looked up into the large mirror above the sink and hated what she saw. She looked miserable, the bags under her eyes a deep purple and her eyes, empty and dark.

She went through the motions of her daily routine automatically, as if a well oiled machine. Grabbing her pink Sonicare toothbrush from the counter she brushed her teeth quickly before attempting to tackle her hair. Her expertly undid the topknot her hair was in from the night before, letting her long ombre hair fall down her back in curly ribbons. Then she walked over to the closet, grabbed a fluffy white towel along with her favorite bodywash, shampoo and conditioner and turned the hot water on in her shower. She grabbed her waterproof speaker pairing it to her phone and putting on her favorite playlist. When she saw the glass door of her shower steam up she jumped it, relishing the feeling of the steaming hot water wash away the pain of the night before.

She just stood there for awhile feeling the water run down her body. She hummed along as Stone Cold by Demi Lovato came on. That song seemed to describe exactly how she was feeling this morning; devastated and depressed while trying to be happy. It didn't perfectly correspond to her situation but she still related to the lyrics. She stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around her and then wrapping another around her head and wiped off the steamy mirror. Finished up in the bathroom and made her way back down the hall to pick out an outfit.

It would be cool today and looking at the clouds, probably rainy. She pulled out a comfy gray hoddie, a black ribbed tank top, black leggings and her Adidas Superstars. She reluctantly dropped her towel in the cold morning air and got dressed. She loved the cold weather because she could cover she cuts with long sleeves. The warm weather was torture for her as she refused to bare her arms and if she did, which was rarely she had to cover her forearm with makeup. Se would spend the whole day worrying if the marks were still noticeable under the layers of concealer and foundation. She hated it.

She picked up her iPhone to check the time. 4:50, "not bad" she thought to herself, grabbing her makeup bag back into the bright unforgiving bathroom light. She unzips the bag and began taking out her products dreading the entire process. She primed her face then took out her Mac foundation and applied it using her favorite beauty blender. She went through the rest of her routine: concealer, bronzer, highliter, finishing powder, and then set it with some finishing spray. Next she grabbed her Naked 2 palette and did a simple smokey eye. She grabbed her favorite waterproof liner and flicked her wings out perfectly without any effort, then put on two coats of mascara and lined her waterline with a black pencil. She ran a light pink lipstick over her lips and looked in the mirror.

She shrugged. She looked slightly better but she could still see the puffiness under her eyes from crying last night. Her eyes were red and irritated. She grabbed some Visine and put a few drops in each eye hoping it would help. She let her hair out of the towel and plugged in her flat iron. She started going over her hair but when she got to the back of her head she stopped. She felt the spot by the nape of her neck where she so viciously ripped out a chunk of hair during a particularly bad panic attack. It wasn't noticeable when she put her hair down but to Madison it was just another reason to be self conscious. She shook the memory of that night out of her head and continued doing her hair. She didn't have time to waste if she wanted to mae it to school on time.

When she finished getting ready she grabbed her homework off her desk and put in into her black Michael Kors backpack she bought with her first paycheck in the beginning of the summer. She was so proud that she was now earning her own money. She liked being independent. She hated having to trust anybody, even her own parents. She grabbed her wallet and keys and walked down the block to the bus stop. She popped her headphones in and resumed listening to her playlist. The bus pulled up and she made her way to the back of the bus slipping into a window seat and pulling her knees up to her chest.

She watched the raindrops splatter against the cool glass and race down like naïve children running down the block. Slowly slipping into the music, she didn't even notice when someone sat in the seat beside her. She just continued to stare blankly through the pane of glass separating her from the dark gloomy sky.