21

21/Ch. 14

"You still here?"

His face looked quizzical.

"I guess I am! You a fucking hoe ass bitch nigga!"

He hates to be yelled at, but being called a hoe more than ANYTHING and I said it to get to him.

He popped out of his seat and snatched my arm, leading us to the bedroom.

"I told you to quit yelling at me."

"But you went out to grab some HOES? You ain't shit so don't think differently."

"You think I picked up them ugly bitches? Shows how much you trust me. Why are you here then? I should've got a couple hoes because of your celibate ass."

"Hahaha. Celibate?! BITCH, I want sex. I want to express love, but it's all on you! You want some tricks? Go get some. I don't give a shit anymore!"

"What you still here for, anyway? Your sorry ass don't got anywhere else to go? Because of your fucking ATTITUDE. Leave, shit! I'm so fucking tired of everything about you! Fuck love. I don't feel shit towards you! Ugly ass bitch."

I'm not gonna lie. He's hitting some nerves.

"I'll get the rest of my stuff tomorrow. Don't look forward to calls or texts from me. Don't look forward to seeing me. Fuck whoever you want. I can't deal with this shit anymore. 6 years of this type of muthafucking shit, and I just can't take it anymore." My voice was in one of those scary whispers.

I put on pants, shoes, and walked out, calling Nikki to come pick me up.

Right before she pulled up, Rakim came outside to join me.

"I didn't mean all that shit earlier."

I didn't look his way. I kept facing forward as the breeze was blowing my natural hair with the wind.

"I'm sorry. You know I love you."

"All that stuff you said had to be real. You knew how to hit the targets to go beyond my limit, but you sped by anyway. That's not love. What I feel is love, but I don't know about you."

He hugged me from behind.

"I was too caught in the momen--"

"Just forget it. You hurt me more than you'd ever know. I forgot your birthday, but it's not a big deal anyway. We can move on from that, but everything you just said to me sticks. That's real pain."

"Elle.......What can I do to make it up?"

"Get away from me for a while. Next time we talk is hopefully gonna be in court next week to get the insurance settlement from that crash."

"I'll give anything to make you stay now."

"Give me space."

Nikki pulled up and I walked down the steps, into her car.