Sam and Colby Imagines

Colby for Macara-The Hate is too Much

This is for @macara908 I hope you like it, Macara!! Love you! <3

Warning: Triggering.

Warning: strong cussing and mean names will be used. And Macara, you know none of this stuff is true! Love ya <3

Fat whore.

Ugly skank.

The things I get called on daily basis by hundreds of Colby's fans rang through my head as I looked in the bathroom mirror. I can't do this anymore. I've been dealing with hate from his fans for over a year now and I've also stayed clean from cutting for the same amount of time, but this is just too much.

I gripped the sink so tightly that my knuckles started turning white. I took a deep breath and released my grip. I looked down at the blade that I had broken out of a pencil sharpener and brought into the bathroom with me. Picking it up, I slowly walked to the toilet and sat down on the closed lid.

With the blade in my left hand, I set it upon the skin of my right arm. As if it had a mind of its own and wasn't being controlled by my hand, the blade made it's first cut.

"Ah, shit," I muttered under my breath and winced from the pain. As soon as the pain was over, I went back to making more cuts.

The all too familiar numb feeling was finally there after eight cuts. I get up and walk back over to the sink to wash off the cuts and get them bandaged.

When the warm water hits the cuts, I wince again and mutter profanity under my breath. All of a sudden, there's a knock on the bathroom door.

"Babe, are you okay?" Colby asks.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You've been in there for a long time."

"I'm fine, babe."

"Can you open the door please?" I didn't respond or answer the door. Colby starts twisting the door knob to find that I had locked it. "Macara, baby, please unlock the door." Again, I didn't answer. All of a sudden the door opened and Colby was inside. He looked at me and immediately seen my bloody arm.

He didn't even say anything, he just walked up to me and finished getting my arm clean and bandaging it.

We walked out of the bathroom and into our bedroom and sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Why?" was all he could manage to ask.

"Hate..."

"But you've been clean for over a year, why did you start again?"

"Because I get hate from hundreds of your fans on a daily basis and I have been for over a year. It's just...too much."

Colby didn't say anything, he just got up and walked to the bathroom. When he returned, he was holding some small object in his hand. My blade?  He sat down and rolled up his sleeve, exposing his forearm. What is he doing? 

He clenched his jaw tightly and placed the blade above his arm. Before I knew what he was doing, he had made a cut across his arm. Seeing his blood on the outside of his arm snapped me back to reality. I quickly snatched the blade from him before he could make another cut.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask him.

"Did seeing me do that hurt you?"

"What? Of course it did"

"Then that's why I did it."

"What?"

"I wanted to show you that you hurting yourself doesn't only hurt you, it hurts me too because of how much I love you. I know you think that physically hurting yourself distracts the other pain you're feeling, but it's really not the answer."

"Wow, I, I never thought about it like that. I'm so sorry, Colby," I say.

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize. Just please promise me you're gonna try not to do this again?"

"Okay."

I hope you like it, Macara!! <3 love ya!