Memories (OHSHC) {Book 3}

2

I woke up and sighed. Sunday, the day the hosts spend all day waiting for something new. It makes me feel bad you know, they're waiting and hoping while I'm not. The memories I have gotten back are the small ones and that's why I don't want them back everything I've gotten are horrid and hurtful not to me but those around me. 

I sighed and looked into the mirror. Wait, you don't know what this room looks like. Well since I don't want my memories flooding in I refuse to go back with the Hitachiins so The hospital put me in a room to stay in until I'm ready because memory loss isn't easy especially for someone with a life like mine. 

The room I'm staying in is simple. There's a window with two couches facing each other, a table, A full body mirror for me, and a bed. I sighed and grabbed the laptop that the hitacchiin's brought for me. I sat on one couch with it in my lap. I looked through all my information I noticed a few cloth designs. They're amazing! This person has the exact image I would love to have. The then noticed at the bottom the name Nicole Hitch and I smiled. They're mine. 

I looked through the documents and found an interesting one. 'Well It's My Fault' I opened it and began to read it 

'Well, I ran. I ran as fast and hard as I could. I did something very brave for me and told him how I felt, I told him of my liking him. And what did he do? He threw me aside like a kleenex and went to Haru. It's fine though I don't blame him or even her, it's all my fault. Trusting a guy, no scratch that anyone with your heart could end badly. So I have locked myself inside this god forsaken room and haven't left in weeks.'

I then blinked seeing a flash of sadness, a flash of screaming and pleading, a flash of betrayal, but worse of all a flush of self-hatred. The story just behind my eyes shocked me. I was happy for a while and he ripped it from my clutches. 

When the hosts walked in it took everything I had to keep my poseur. I was leading them on to believe I still had no memories when I was slowly getting them back. SO no glaring at H2 today. ''So Nikki what's happening, enjoying it here?'' asked T2 I smiled with a light nod. ''Yeah do you have another book?'' I asked smiling at him. They all chuckled. my favorite part of all the visits is seriously looking at my childhood like it's someone else's life, but in a way it is. I'm a different person now and that's how it is. 

T1 handed me another book and it was labeled 'Year 12 : Depression Starts' I looked at the title and decided to read it later. ''Oh the laptop you guys brought the designs in here are amazing, did she make them?'' I asked. Yes, I refer to Nikki pre-accident as another person. ''Yeah they are, you loved to do it. You used to design for us before you became a hostess yourself,'' said H3. 

''So what I hosted for guys?'' I asked they nodded I sighed. ''PreNikki is a bit everywhere isn't she?'' I asked they chuckled. ''Yeah. She was kinda like the clam in the eye of our storm though.'' said H1. ''Right I'm getting tired do you guys mind leaving early today?'' I asked they all smiled. ''Yeah of course!'' I smiled as they left as soon as the door closed my smile dropped and I looked at the book scared. I opened it and looked threw. There were pictures of my dad and I was there but not in soul. My headphones in, leather jacket and skirt. I sighed and flipped threw. I got to the end and there was a dvd I smiled and slipped it  into the laptop and put headphones in. I played and there was my dad. He was laughing in a hearted laugh that was so familiar to my ears. I smiled. 

I watched in horror as threw the days I got even farther away I noticed I began wearing more make up and I assume it's to hid bruises. PreNikki was getting worse. wearing thick eyeliner and combat boots. I sighed and closed it. 

I can't do this. I need to stop forcing my brain to regain it's memory. I need to let it come in time. With this in mind I crawl into bed wishing my massive headache away. I then drifted to sleep.

''Nicole?'' asked a voice outside the locked door. ''Darling it's daddy what's wrong, can I help?'' Asked me father. My best friend. The only reason I haven't tried to kill myself since then. I sighed and opened the door hugging him tightly. ''Nothing daddy.'' i smiled lieing cooly. You see the bullying is getting worse and I'm spending everything I have on concealer. ''Well remember daddy's here for you. Always.'' 

 I woke up and smiled. My first not so bad memory. This might be okay after all.