the glamorization
of eating disorders
hurts me more than almost anything else.
i see it,
scrolling through my tumblr dashboard
through ad after ad
in my sister's magazine
in posters on walls
in my photo album
it's still in my head
it can be held back
but not forgotten
there is no beauty in forcing bones,
only weakness, failing grades, dark circles,
dull blonde hair on my floor,
in clumps on my bed --
it's not lovely, it's sick.
stop thinking what you're thinking.
you know better, but you still want it
so do i, i'm a slave to urge,
as you are;
humans are alike.
i beg you
to try to want to feel okay
it's not beautiful
it's sickening
you might want to stand out
to frighten people
to strike jealousy, empathy, want
into another's mind
but
your quiet self-destruction is not worth it
don't let yourself fall into believing;
jealousy, empathy, want
will not happen
only pain
when you feel the urge
write, instead.
step back,
identify your emotion,
write it down, and watch it pass
it will pass
don't create an air of perfection
around your image
i'm in pain, i bend to my will
for you,
there is a way out
keep your head above the water
