Please don't feed the children

please don't feed the children chp.15

Note: every five chapters I do a chapter dedicated solely to Jason’s POV, because there is a story going on inside of him as well as on the outside.  So every time you see a chapter with a 5 or a 0 after the first number, you can assume it is Jason. That’s all.

JASON’S POV

A growl leaps from the back of my throat when the pipe I had spent all day trying to if breaks yet again. The damage to the piece of rusty metal was too great, and it seemed now I was going to have to go out and buy new parts if I didn’t want this basement flooded for the rest of my life.

That wouldn’t be a bad idea, Jace. You could use the water as some kind of torture for the prey. Drowning is a horrible way to die-

Shut up.

I squeeze my eyes together, scrunching in discomfort when I hear that my father’s voice had started warring with my own once again. I couldn’t get rid of him no matter how much I tried to, and the overwhelming stress of this task made him fester at my mind more, ravishing it until it was at the point of exhaustion. Only the alcohol that floods through my veins can die him down, but it’s a temporary relief.

He’ll come back.

He always comes back.

My hands shake, and I’m contemplating whether this shaking is because of my alcohol withdrawal, or just plain fear.

Fear is for the weak. My father’s voice is raspy against my ears, causing my eyes to blur for a minute. Some days I just can’t stand it.

Fear is a natural emotion, something you wouldn’t know about, seeing to it that you’re dead, my thoughts screaming at him

I try to return my attention back to the mangled pipes, my father’s voice seeming to have died out, until he speaks up again.

You’re just like your mother; another burden on my shoulders. Maybe my subconscious mind was telling me that when I decided to spare Shay instead of you.

My mouth twitches, but I’m numbed by his words. I stand there for a minute, blinking furiously, trying to remember.

Shay…. Who was Shay exactly?

You don’t even remember him, do you? All he is now is another victim in your eyes .You can thank me for that. A man doesn’t need someone holding them back.

I punch the wall, his voice taunting my own. Shay… is that who he was? My, my –

Brother.

When the word hits my brain, I crumple into the flood water, letting it cover me. Liquid rushes into my ears, blocking out the sound; it blocks out everything. I can’t breathe, but I don’t feel the need to; not right now at least. I wait for the river to carry me away, end it all.

Don’t do it Jason. I won’t let you.

I tune out his voice; it’s only a whisper now because the noise of the water muddles his own.

You will not die in such a pathetic way. Not if I’m still here. I’m too close to what I want, and I’m not going to let you ruin this for me.

I swallow, opening my mouth slowly to let the water collect in my throat. His voice falters, the screaming in my head dying out. The oxygen turns to poison and my body is burning for air, but I just ignore their pleas. I knew what I was doing.

No!

My eyes snap open, and I let out a scream. The water bubbles around me when screech, but I wasn’t concerned about that. Against my will, I was being pulled.

Something was making me resurface.

With the last of its energy, my legs forced me to stay up, enough for my head to reach the surface. My mouth opens, breathing in and breathing out. I felt like I was dying, dizziness spreading through me. I looked around, eyes hazy and vision broken, to see I was still alive.

But I didn’t want to be.

Even though I was screaming at myself to go back down, my bones jut upward, letting myself stand. I was out of the water from the waist up and I was choking abominably.  But why? I should be dead, I have to be dead.

As long as I’m here, you’ll never be able to die.

My fists ball up, turning my knuckles white.

Of course it was you, it’s always you.

A snicker leaks into my brain, and I just want to scratch my eyes out. How the hell was he able to do that? He took over my body…

What if he can do it again?

What if he can do it all the time?

Oh hush Jason. I’m not that strong. Not yet, at least. Now, if you don’t want that to happen again anytime soon, you should continue working.

I look at the pipes; they had stopped leaking because I turned off the water a while ago. I guess I could try working on them again… it would keep me from being taken over by him…

That’s right Jason. Do what I say.

I cringe at his words and lick my lips, tasting blood when my tongue runs over my mouth. A sick feeling crawls through me, working its way into my stomach where it chooses to settle.  What he did… that had never happened before. He was always just a taunt in the back of my mind, and I was always able to make him succumb to darkness when I want to…with the help of alcohol of course.

But now… now I don’t know what to think.

And I’m scared.

For the first time in a long time, I’m scared.

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Okay, just a short little chapter. I have A LOT of studying to do for my test on Tuesday, so this is all I’m posting. I’m wondering… what are your thoughts on Jason?

The song today is can’t heal you by five finger death punch.

Bye!