how to make a mixtape :: mgc (fin.)

35. hospitals & flashes

My finger twitches.

My finger twitches again, and it takes me a minute to realise I'm actually breathing. I flex my entire hand, and hear someone gasp. I hear someone call a nurse. I hear footsteps. I feel a hand brushing my hair from my face. I hear a heart monitor. I smell hand wash. I hear people gather around where I'm lying down. Someone lets out a sob. Someone holds my hand. Someone runs their fingers through my hair. Someone pulls my hospital gown up, so my shoulder isn't exposed. Someone touches my cheek.

And all that I did was twitch my finger.

When I open my eyes, there's a nurse ushering away people from my bed. The ceiling is completely white and high set, and if I can just turn my neck around enough -- yes, just like that -- I can see a heart monitor standing loud and proud beside my bed. I haven't said anything, yet, and Mara, Calum, Luke, Alejandro, and Ashton all stare at me like a caged animal. The nurse is kneeling by the bed, a smile on her lips as she watches me touch my temple. The pain is striking and unbearable. There's a bandage wrapped around, but it hurts.

"Hello, Maricruz," the nurse says. She has dark hair twisted into a bun at the back of her head, a face clean of makeup, and a lovely pair of deep blue eyes. "Estas bien?"

I look at her for a while. "Sí." My mouth feels rusty speaking in Spanish.

"Do you feel well rested?" she asks, again in Spanish. Why is she speaking in Spanish?

"Sí."

"Could I ask you something, before you do anything else?" she says. I nod. "Do you know your full name?"

Puzzled at the random question, I stare at her. "Maricruz Felix Colorado."

"Good, and your age?"

"Seventeen."

"Wonderful, when's your birthday?"

"June twenty eighth, nineteen ninety seven." I look at her. "Por qué?"

"You received multiple head injuries -- I'm making sure you aren't suffering from amnesia."

I nod. I remember everything crystal clear.

"Do you know the names of everyone in this room?"

My eyes rest on each person as I say their name. "Luke, Calum, Alejandro, Ashton, and Mara." I shrug. Simple.

"Okay, that's great!" She pats my hand for a bit. "Do you think you're up for talking to your friends?"

"Yes please."

The nurse almost leaves, but Calum catches her by the arm. "Does her skull have any fractures? You know even a hairline fracture can--"

"Mr. Hood," she says gently, "I can assure you, your friend has no major damages to the skull."

"Are you sure?"

"You can bring her in for a check up anytime you feel uneasy."

Calum releases the nurse's arm, and she leaves the room, leaving the clean, white door ajar and my friends to finding out how to approach me without any assistance. I look over them once more. Mara's cheeks are wet and shine under the all-too-bright lights in the hospital room, so I assume it was her who emitted a strangled sob as soon as I moved. Everyone else regards me cautiously, and I regard them, and in this one moment of silence and thought and apprehensive gestures, I realise that this must be the break I needed. The break where nobody talks, where I can hear the blood rushing in my ears, and half a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know who Maggie is -- or should I say, I know who Scout is. I know who she is.