Mirrors

Sunshine

Chapter Twenty-Three:

Sunshine

“Hey! I want a turn!”

“Can’t you just wait?! I want to play with him first.”

“It’s his dog, after all. Let him have his turn.”

“But—but I want to play with him too!”

“Here you go. Are you happy now?”

“Thanks.”

I opened my eyes and saw three children running around a meadow. It was cleared off, with a few tree stumps here and there. Butterflies flew from flower to flower. Birds flocked among the trees. The grass reached to my knees; each blade was thin, making it easier to walk through. It was secluded, away from any intruder. It brought the kids to a world of their own; a place to distract them from the world.

I swayed my head from side-to-side, observing my surroundings. The intense sunlight hit my eyes. I hadn’t realized that I’d been roaming around gloomy memories. It felt as if I had been reborn under that light, digging out of the darkness. I was a little hedgehog, saying hello to the sun for the first time in months. The chronic stress that had built inside me slowly faded away, easing the headache that crushed my temples. I took a breath of the clean, unadulterated air.

There were two little Irene’s in one place. One was playing with Jaren and Oliver. The other stood beside me, watching them play together. The one that stood beside me grew quiet. Her sad eyes watched the kids. A content smile crept up on her face. I turned my head to the kids playing with the dog. Oliver held a tennis ball in his hand, running away from the puppy that chased him. Oliver threw the ball to little Irene; the puppy chased it. Before it could even reach little Irene, she threw the ball to Jaren who ran away with it.

I laughed at the sight, feeling happier. How I needed this so much. Eight-year-old little Irene had the same pained expression on her face. I had to ask what was wrong.

“Hey, are you all right?” I asked, patting her on top of her head.

She nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

“Don’t you remember what happened between you guys? After the Colton incident?” she added after a short pause.

“I do,” I mumbled. “But here we are, two years after that.” I pointed to the image of me, running around with the boys. “It took a while for us to get back together like this.”

“And it took only a puppy to do it,” little Irene smiled.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

We stood in silence again, watching the scene play before us. The kids laid themselves down on the soft grass, cushioning their bodies in place. The puppy sat on top of Jaren’s stomach, resting itself with them. They all closed their eyes, enjoying the blissful autumn afternoon. A breeze blew by, lifting leaves off the ground. They swirled toward the three; some landed on their faces. But they didn’t seem to mind at all; they were too relaxed to do anything about it.

Oliver began to talk, breaking the silence between them. “I missed you guys.”

Jaren and little Irene sat up, looking at Oliver with the same woebegone expression. They glanced at each other, giving each a gentle smile.

“I missed you guys, too,” Jaren agreed. He turned to little Irene. “I’m sorry for everything. I should’ve been there; not the other way around. I just—left you like that.” His lips began to trembled as he stared off at space. His guilt began to affect the two, though little Irene tried to reassure him.

“There’s really nothing to worry about,” she said. “I’m just glad we got together again.”

“Family is family,” Oliver added. “No matter what happens, it’s always going to end that way.”

“Yeah,” little Irene agreed. “No matter how much shit comes through.”

Jaren and Oliver stared  at her, stunned.

“Since when did you start saying bad words? You’re only ten-years-old!” Jaren retorted.

Little Irene held her head back and laughed, clutching her stomach. “Since now. I hadn’t started.”

“Well don’t start when Grandma’s around you,” Oliver advised. “She might flick your mouth for that.”

“I know,” Jaren snickered. “She’s done it to me.”

The three of them grinned, and then belched out heaps of laughter. They fell back on the grass, laughing until their sides ached. Jaren started rolling back and forth, unable to contain himself.

“The look on her face—” he said after catching his breath. “It was just too hilarious.”

“I bet!” little Irene replied.

“Crazy Catholics are gonna be crazy,” Oliver said in a sing-song voice. The three of them laughed even harder.

After the wave of guffawing died down, little Irene jumped towards the two of them. She wrapped each arm around their necks. She kissed each one on the cheek, squeezing them harder.

“I missed you guys.”

***

That meadow became our hideout. It was a place to run around, discover new things, and be ourselves. It was a place to pretend. It was a place to be honest. From every leaf to every worm—everything in it made me realize that problems outside  these woods weren’t so important. There was no one there to ruin my time with my cousins. No one disturbed us.  Although a bicker might intrude our days once in a while, it would later come resolved in a matter of hours.

That meadow was the place I needed. It was Never Land. Jaren, Oliver and I were the lost children. One day, our parents started to wonder where we were heading off to. Pulling and shoving was needed to convince our parents that the meadow existed. Apparently it was an old, abandoned lot where a fire had taken place. A shiver ran down my spine as soon as I discovered the story behind it.

After a while of visiting the meadow, I began to relax more. This mellow attitude surprised everyone in school, especially the kids who used to constantly tease me. The screaming came in lesser intervals, chasing people only took place during tag, and more and more classmates began to talk to me again. It was getting better. I was starting to love myself again.

Then, Colton came back to my life.