Mirrors

A World Alone

Chapter Twenty-Seven:

A World Alone

In my bedroom, Valerie laid her head on a pillow, wailing until she lost her voice. Her mourning had not been answered; both dad and Quinn were at the other side of the house. Dad had tried to get Valerie out of bed to no prevail. Quinn covered her ears, masking the banshee screams of her beloved sister. Her sensitivity showered, letting loose the tears she held onto for so long.

Time sped up. Valerie stayed in one place: on her bed. The sun disappeared, the wind quickly pushed leaves and bushels away, and Valerie stopped crying. Dad went in the room a couple of times, checking on his daughter.

But Valerie never came out.

After a week of staying at home and never going to school, one night Valerie had finally gotten up. It was 1:43 am. She tip-toed through the hallways, passing through both Quinn and dad’s rooms. Hanging behind her was a black back-pack, filled with clothes and other belongings. She had managed to change out of her pajamas, which she had been wearing for almost a week. In the kitchen, she grabbed food from the cupboards and the fridge. She poured water into an empty gallon of milk. From her pocket, she pulled out a letter. With her trembling fingers, she had successfully written her letter.

Valerie tip-toed back to her bedroom. She folded her twin-sized comforter and placed it between her arms. Then she gently opened her closet, putting on a thick jacket. When she thought she was ready, she sighed and went outside.

It was pitch black. Even with the diminutive flashlight, she could only see about ten feet ahead of her. The mountainous trees were frozen giants, covering their secrets with their territory. From out of the blue, a raven squawked and flapped its wings. A owl hoot throughout the sky, tangent to Valerie and me. The overflow of nocturnal creatures made Valerie’s heart pump harder and louder, though she didn’t dare look back. If she did, she might just lose the courage to move forward.

I stood next to her, holding her hand even though she wouldn’t feel it. I just wanted to tell her that it was wrong to leave dad and Quinn behind. Running away wasn’t the answer. But no matter how much I talk, no one ever listens. I was only a shadow, a background. I learnt to accept that. So I watched Valerie, knowing what’s ahead of her. Knowing that this decision she made would lead her down a beaten path where she would find a world of her own.

Onwards she went; her legs trembled in anxiety. She was leaving the nest for the first time. But, it was the wrong time. Douglas fir and spruce dominated the woods. Their sap filled the forest floor. Their leaves pounded upon each other. This was our backyard, showing no boundaries except for a pathetic piece of red tape that marked the property line. As soon as Valerie stepped over that line, relief took over her.

Well, the first step was over; the next step had to be done. She walked for about an hour before she finally decided to rest. No one could find her there, she thought. She herself don’t know how to return home. Below with the roots of an evergreen tree, she made bedding out of moss and leaves. The small, fleece blanket she brought along with her laid next to the tree trunk. A natural roof stood over her head, made out of evergreen needles and branches. She put the hiking bag below her head as a pillow as she covered herself with the comforter. The coat she wore kept her warm. And she kept her tennis shoes on. When she woke up in the morning, she planned on searching for a nearby creek.

I sat next to her, feeling nothing of the cold at all. I was roaming around my memories, though the terrains couldn’t interact with me. Valerie—such an idiot you are. I don’t even know how I came up with the idea of running away. It was an urge that came to me without my thinking. Since mom left, I might leave as well. The stress of reality pushed me off of my breaking point. All I really needed was a time off, to be in a world where I didn’t have to worry about anything but myself. It was a selfish move. It wrecked my dad tremendously. But I needed to be alone.

In the woods, there was nothing left to do but live.

I set myself down beside Valerie, feeling her warmth as I scooted in closer to her. Sleep called for me. It seemed like a billion years since I had rest. So I fell fast asleep.

I woke up with Valerie next to me. It seemed that I had almost forgotten how I hated her. The fragility she portrayed, the isolation she put herself, the actions without deliberation; I feel sorry for her. For so many years, I hated looking back in the past. The memory of it all just brought me pain; I was so ashamed.

Valerie packed her belongings, and went on ahead to look for some source of water. The gallon she brought wouldn’t be enough for the time she’d be there. Even then, I knew that. So she walked, listening for a rush of water. A mountain was closeby. A narrow stream shouldn’t be too far away.

At last, after about two hours of searching she found a gully with clean, mountain water. Of course it wouldn’t be clean enough to drink without boiling. She had a lighter in her back-pack that was more than halfway full. With only a year of being a girl scout up her sleeve, it seemed that she already knew how to take care of herself in the woods.

She set up camp right under a tree right next to the edge of the gully. She laid her belongings down, and sat on the blanket. From her back-pack, she pulled out the one sketch pad that was small enough to fit inside. She took out a pencil from one of the pockets and started drawing. It was something that would help her pass the time without thinking about anything else, but to add more lines to her developing picture.

She started with the shape of a head—an oval egg. Then she slided her pencil down to sketch a neck, then the torso and the limbs. She drew the surrounding area without an effort, looking up at the trees in front of her for reference. Her focus never faltered. Her brows furrowed in concentration. Her fingers were nimble, sketching out the picture in her mind. Over time, the picture was progressively altered. Valerie’s obsessive impulse for detail shone through. Every out of place line was erased. Every inch of the paper was filled. It had to be close to what she fantasized.

The resulting image surprised me. I hadn’t seen that drawing in such a long time. It was a picture of an elf-like creature walking through the woods, wandering with a worried look.

Through my drawings and doodles, you could see the world inside my head.