Mirrors

Swimming Home

Chapter Thirty-Four:

Swimming Home

Time sped forward, making objects and people move at a fast pace. It was like watching a movie as you press the fast forward button. Irene Valerie’s image moved from reading, went along with her homework, and then moved across the kitchen to make dinner. A boy went through the door; the same one I saw with Irene Valerie a while ago. The phantom of Irene Valerie stopped the fast forward of time, letting me see the interaction between the boy and the image of Irene Valerie.

Lawrence: this was the boy I was going to meet in the future. He went over to Irene Valerie, hugging her around the waist as she cooked. They were content, probably living with each other.

“Lawrence?” I mumbled to Irene Valerie.

“Yeah,” she answered, smiling at the image ahead of us.

“How did you guys meet?” I asked.

“Oh, he was an exchange student from France,” Irene Valerie explained. “We started out as friends, and it just kind of rolled on after that.”

“A French guy? That sounds really cliché,” I giggled. “What an awesome boyfriend.”

Irene Valerie nodded, agreeing. “It is. But your love for art attracted him. He’s an artist, too.”

“It seems like I’m doing fine in the future,” I pointed out

“Yes you are. Everything’s okay,” she agreed.

“Everything gets better in the end,” I said.

“And pain never lasts,” Irene Valerie added. “It’s always temporary.”

“No matter how much guilt that devours you?” I asked.

“Irene,” she sighed. “You told yourself once before: everything that happened to you wasn’t your fault.”

“Why does it feel like it?”

“Because that’s you; that’s always been you,” Irene Valerie replied. “You let the blame on you even when it isn’t your fault. Just as you said: you didn’t have the control.”

I nodded, feeling the weight of the world decline, coming off of my shoulders. Just to hear someone say those words to me healed me more and more. The world ahead got better. All the stress that I put myself in, and the constant worrying was all in vain—in a good thing. Everything’s all right in my future. All I really needed to do was to let myself go, and let things go. What happened, happened. There’s no need to go back and change things. There’s no need to regret each action taken. In the process, it had made me stronger. Everything that occurred helped shape the person that I am today. Shouldn’t I be proud of that?

What could have been didn’t make me feel worse. I didn’t have to regret dying, just as much not regretting the life I had. I was proud of myself, and the friendships that I had acquired even through the toughest times. The forces and events around me made me fall, but I had the strength to pull myself up. To have gone from a depressed state to almost reaching all of those stars in the sky made me feel accomplished.

I found my peace.

The rush of water wrapped around me. I felt its cold fingers linger into my lungs. The muffled sounds of displaced water came through my ear. The cold splash into my face. It distorted gravity, making me float. I was back in the ocean.

Little Irene, Valerie and Irene Valerie swam in front of me, accompanying me. We reached for each other’s hands, holding them gently. We looked at each other’s brown eyes, glistening as the sunlight above the surface hit them. The ocean brightened in color; I could see the bottom. The water was clean of the dirt that had polluted it for so long. The mud below became uncontaminated sand. The ocean glittered like a diamond. The surface was as tempting as ever, looking like a mirror.

Raggedy Anne swam up, getting caught in the middle of us four Irenes. It tread in place, in front of us, with a pleasant smile on its face. I looked at her with brand new eyes, loving her even more.

“Are you ready, Irene?” the three Irenes asked me in unison.

“Yes,” I responded with a smile. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good,” little Irene smiled.

All five of us lifted through the ocean, displacing each molecule away from us. We were getting closer and closer, reaching that surface. I was going to win this battle. It was no longer a stalemate. I was free. And I passed through that surface with glee.