(That's Amy in the picture)
Dear Journal,
I, am a moron. Like, honestly, you will never meet an alien more retarded then me as long as you live. Let me explain.
Amy Celestial has been my crush sense year two, and is completely, 100 percent, out of my league. Like, we're not even in the same ballpark. Like, she's in the global stadium, and I'm the guy selling broken black hole creators down the street. And we all know how out dated those are!
Well, I got a chance to talk to her today. I was rushing out of the bathroom, late to class and needing to get to my locker. We're "locker neighbors" as she puts it, and she was at hers as I ran to mine.
"O-oh, hey Amy!" I stuttered, feeling blood cells rush to my face and heating up, causing to to look red because of emotion. She smiled at me. She had a really nice smile. "Hey Tyler."
"So, uh, you're on your way to Wormhole travel 101, right?" I asked trying to keep the conversation going. "Yea actually. You're going to literature, right?" She knew my schedule!!
"Yea, its my favorite class..." I mumbled. "Well that's awe-" she cut herself off as she looked down. She blushed and looked uncomfortable. Oh god, what did I do now? "Uhh... Tyler?" She whispered,
"Yea Amy?" I mumbled. "You're, uh....your fly's down." She informed me. I looked down to see that my pants were, in fact, unzipped.
'TYLER!' you say in shock, 'What do you say in a situation like that?! What do you do?!' Well I'll tell you my friends: you do not do what I did.
"Well, that makes for easier access I guess." I mumbled without thinking. This is what happens when you're naturally a smart ass.
"Wow, uh, ok!" She laughed nervously, "that's fucking creepy! I have to get to class, so, see ya later Tyler! Or never. Never works too." She said, rushing to get always from me.
"Amy, wait!!" I yelled, then face palmed. I am in idiot for the centuries.
Maybe if I hide in this janitors closet long enough, people will assume I'm dead and I can hide from my shame. Your humble nincompoop,
Tyler Asteroid.
YOU ARE READING
Tyler the Teenage Alien
Fantascienza"Hi, my names Tyler. Please don't talk to me" Tyler is a Teenage Alien who (according to his shrink) has social anxiety and is "too cynical for his own good." So, now he's forced to write in this dumb diary- I MEAN- journal. Read along, as he deals...
