speak | taehyung

eighteen: denial is the first stage of love

REALLLY UNEDITED: a/n bc I love you guys and even though I'm so busy I knew you guys have been dying for an update :)

I remember the day you confessed. That day, I realized that life isn't about being cookie cutter perfect or being the "ideal one". Life is about the way you feel. The way you grow. The way you stretch your horizons to fulfill your capacities. It's not about achieving the fantasy everyone else desires. It's about gaining the reality you aspire to have. It's about you and yourself. Life is about yourself. It's okay to be a little selfish, sometimes. And I realized that when I rejected you. Because I was thinking of myself. I was mature enough to realize that you were no good for me.

But then I also realized that when you responded to my rejection, you were thinking about yourself. Your feelings. You were no longer afraid or thinking that you would hurt me, because you cared enough now. You cared about yourself, and that's what I wanted you to do a long time ago.

"It's easy for me to get with any girl. It's easy for me to find anyone who'd be willing to be with me. But I don't know why I feel this way about you. I know I was a jerk and I was being insensitive to your feelings. But now, I think I gained some common sense. I'm not afraid anymore. I didn't want to be with you because I was afraid, for you. But now, I realized that by doing that, I hurt the both of us.......I also realized that denial is the first stage of love. I won't make you cry ever again."

"You can't make promises you can't keep."

"I mean it this time. And I won't stop until you see, that I meant it."

"Taehyung, I don't want to lose our friendship."

"Our friendship won't go away. You're stuck with me because I- damn it this is so cheesy...I freaking love you."

Me too, you idiot.

"What took you so long?"

"It's a yes?"

"No, but I'll let you try."

"What do you mean?"

"Court me?"

"What's that?"

"Oh gosh, I just remembered how ignorant this generation is. When dating means "we're texting" and all that other crap. I wish I lived in a different time period."

"Wait! Wait!!! I'll court you, after I find out what that means."