u p h e r e ↬ m.f. & s.m. [completed]

FIRE RED

CHAPTER ONE

Sun. 7th August 2016

"Everything is more complicated than you think."

-Charlie Kaufmann

This day has proven to be more complicated than any other day in his life ever was. Thousands of moving boxes lining up in the halls of his new apartment. There was nothing unpacked yet, no paintings on the wall, no plants on the window sill. Nothing personal attached to any room, yet.

Then why did he feel so comfortable?

Grabbing a half-emptied can of beer, looking out the window, he studied the unbearable storm which covered up nearly everything of the city that spread underneath him.

All of the sudden he was not sure anymore if he really did feel comfortable or rather wretched. Emotions- something he would never truly understand. At least he thought so.

Being alone in his own home for the first time was surly an emotional experience but he still was not sure how he felt.

He felt like shit for leaving behind his dad and pregnant mother in a house somewhere outside of town.

He felt great for finally attending a normal school without snobs rambling on his alcohol consume.

He felt free because he now would have to take care of himself. But then again he felt like betraying himself because his parents still paid everything.

He was not free yet, but he took first steps.

He freed himself from teachers who had to be nice; he freed himself from friends who would stab him in his back if they were told so.

Attending to this new school meant that nobody would know about his parents or their money. He lived in one of the dirtiest places in the whole city, at least he got told so. But he did not care. To be honest he had to admit to himself that he even liked it, just a little bit.

He opened the window he stood in front of and his sight immediately got caught on the stairs of the fire exit. First raindrops started to make their way into his new home. Some of them met his skin and the warmth spread through all the cells nearby.

It felt like a kiss, like that kind of feeling he missed on his lips. Nothing is more wonderful than the touch of the person you love. Those thoughts were crossing his mind for a while now, they were always the same. He just couldn't move on, couldn't compensate his loss. Even though he never was sure if he felt love.

And that was what confused him- . Was he really missing the person or just the feeling, was he sad or just angry that he was left? Was it a loss or a gain?

His mind was a complicated place and so was his heart. But little did he know that the love he once felt was not dedicated to the person but to the feeling itself.

His senses tightened as he climbed out the window onto the stairs. Rain was coming down on him but he did not mind. Not today. He just wished for his beer to not get all messed.

Everything smelled different in the city. Back at home he would notice one smell and his brain would time travel him into his past. There were those smells that could bring up so many memories without the person even recognizing where it belonged.

And now everything was new.

The rain washed away all his sorrows and doubts, yet he thought he had to give credit to the alcohol rushing through his blood. Thousand of drops met the metal of the red painted staircase and sounds formed as if they were meant to do so for some greater good.

Concentrating on just this sound, he jumped a little and nearly slipped as he heard a scream from the roof above.

Or was it laughter?

His feet automatically guided him to the top of the building. Up there he placed his can on the small 'wall' that separated the save ground of the roof with the depth that lead into an ocean filled with traffic lights.

His eyes followed the sound his ears caught. By now he was curious. Just a few seconds earlier his sight got caught by the red color of the fire steps leading up to the top of the skyscraper, and his ears would listen to raindrops falling down onto metal. All he saw noe was fire red hair and all he could hear was a shaking voice, laughing and screaming.

The two skyscrapers that were placed next to each other, their roofs on the same height, had each one boy on top of them. But only one aware of the others' existence. They were the same age, yet this was probably the most unimportant thing to say about them.

Another thunder spread across town and shook the boy with the green hair awake.

Back in his own mind he realized that his thoughts drove a race against each other, his brain being the road. However, he did not bother paying attention to his upcoming headache, too many thoughts needed to be collected and he was staring at one of them.

The green haired boy was not sure whether or not to say something as the other became silent and leaned against a brick wall of the small 'room' (if you could call it that), which probably contained stairs leading down to many floors of the building.

For him, his heartbeat was now louder than any thunder ever could be.

And Jack, as the green haired liked to get called, was once again not sure how he felt and eventually decided that he felt sorry, sorry and nothing more. Though he knew that feelings were oddly complicated to him.

A bright red light was hanging on the wall the young men leaned against, right now it was the only light source the two boys could get use from. If there weren't any other sources, he simply would be left in complete darkness. For one brief moment he thought about whether he would mind or not.

Rather quickly his mind came back to the boy with red hair just as bright as the light above him. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to apologize for all the cruelties; he could only assume life put on him. He wanted to tell him that it is okay.

Yet, he decided against it. It seemed as if he disturbed something nobody was supposed to hear or see.

"I should not have the urge to scream.", the red haired boy mumbled on the other side. His words were heavy and merely louder than the rain falling on metal. He let out a desperate chuckle, surely not happy at all.

"I fucking shouldn't.", he said, his voice now being a bit louder. His head rose, so his nose would face the sky. It was only now that Jack realized the rain rushing down his face as if all his facial features were building the perfect abyss for the drops to form a miniature waterfall.

How should his mind be able to understand an emotion just like this, he felt like starring into the exact opposite of nothingness. In this moment it seemed the whole world came down on him and it made his heart heavy and his mind was racing yet again.

But then all thoughts left his mind. Nearly.

There was only one thing left to be thought as the probably broken boy on the other side of the abyss began to sing:

Rain could not destroy a fire burning just as passionate. 

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words: 1.260

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Thank you guys so much for reading! I really appreciate it!

Did you like it? I certainly hope so!

I don't know why but I don't like this chapter as much now as I did when I first wrote it. I hope it is not too confusing or anything like that...

(If you notice any mistakes, please let me know) 

Have a nice day y'all!