We Happened

Chapter Thirty Two

Radhika's pov

It's been almost six months since I moved back to Delhi and honestly things are much more normal than I expected. Rishabh and I have into a routine which isn't as painful as I thought on the contrary it is quite casual. We stopped overthinking and I guess that made everything fall back into pieces without trying hard. Although there are some moments when time pauses and my mind wanders but I restrain myself from overexpecting anything this time.

He has improved alot in the past months. He agreed to attend the therapy. Mostly I'm there with him and sometimes it feels strange when he talks about me or how he felt when I left but then I remember the reason why everything happened and calm myself. He has recovered majorly but still sometimes he would have nightmare that everything's falling apart again and he would call me in the middle of the night to make sure everything's fine. It helps that I live nearby so I could check on him anytime.

Coming back was a spontaneous decision and I hadn't thought it through at all. I was jobless again and I didn't know what to do. Although Rishabh said I can work with him again but I refused. It just didn't felt right. I didn't wanted people at the office to think that I'm using Rishabh to get my way with things. Luckily Pakhi offered me a job of a legal consultant at her father's company and I accepted. It is still new and I'm still learning but it isn't bad so you find me complaining at all.

I used my spare key to Rishabh's apartment and opened. I was sure he must be sleeping and would've totally forgotten about his meeting with a client. I kept my bag on the counter and went straight to the kitchen for some coffee.

"Rishabh" I called once but got nothing in response. I called again and the same thing happened.

I took my cup and took a sip. I breathed and finally shouted "Rishabh, just get up and get your damn ass right now for breakfast or I'm gonna drown you in cold freaking water."

I heard the door bell and thought it might be his maid so shouted come in.

"Rishabh I'm telling you I'm going to scare the shit out of you if you don't get your freaking ass dressed in five minutes" I was exhausted from this kiddish behavior of his.

"Um. Excuse me?" I heard someone call me from behind I turned around to see a woman around late 50s stood in front of me she looked similar to someone, it felt that I've seen her somewhere but couldn't put a finger on it.

"I'm sorry Radhika I was tired after last night. Radh-"

"MOM!" He almost yelled and I gasped.

Right. Mom. She looks like Rishabh, that's why she seemed familiar. I dipped my head down as much as I could thinking about what a disaster I've just done.

"What are you doing here?!" Rishabh asked

"You don't come to visit us although we live in the same city so I thought I should pay you visit" Her mom replied

"Who is she?" She asked looking at me
"I'm Radhika, Maam" I introduced

"Oh! Nice to meet you" she replied with a smal smile I smiled back

"Mom I appreciate you being here but I've a urgent meeting I'll back in two three hours. Make yourself home Radhika will help you" 

I nodded since I didn't had any other option in this situation.

After Rishabh left I served breakfast for Mrs. Jaisingh.

"Mrs. Jaisingh breakfast is ready" I called her and she came sat next to me at the dinner table.

"Aren't you the girl that left and Rishabh was so miserable?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Yes?" It was statement but it came out as a question for some reason.

"I can see you love him then why would you leave?"

"It was hard to be around him knowing deep down he could never love me back. I tried explaining myself that I could but I couldn't. I wanted something, maybe not unconditional love but atleast something but he couldn't offer me anything. I kept saying myself that I can't let him slip away but I realized I never had him. I don't know what it is right now and I'm trying not to think about it but whatever it is my heart feels that this is the right thing to do so I'm doing it"

"You know love is consuming. It requires so much from you that sometimes it just isn't enough. We assume that other people should love like we do and if they don't we believe it isn't true. It might say otherwise but you know that you're here because he was wreck and no one could fix his distraught mind.

My husband and my marriage was arrangement made by our parents. Nobody asked either of us if we really wanted to marry each other or not but nevertheless I thought that I would just make the best out of this marriage. I just wanted a marriage that could give me the happiness that wanted but I didn't get any. We spent days and months living in the same house and not exchanging more than two to three words. He was just upset that it was all an arrangement he was forced into. I tried but I got nothing. We didn't argue or anything but we didn't had anything. It was empty and lifeless and I felt the pain. I just couldn't take it anymore and decided that it would be best if I let go my marriage because it wasn't working out."

"Did you leave?" I asked

"No.I realized that if it's meant to be it'll be but that doesn't mean you won't try. Before coming to the conclusion that it isn't worth it you've to make sure you did all you could to keep it together. At the end it isn't all the hardships that you look back, it is all the beautiful memories that you've created over time that matter. Now when I look at my family, my husband I'm glad that I decided to stay. It wasn't easy but trust me it never is. I'm not saying all this to make you stay in my son's life because that isn't my decision. You're young and beautiful, there will be endless fights and difficult decisions to make but trust me in the end whatever you do it is going to okay. You should know that you're stronger than you think and you'll be more than just okay." 

By the time she finished I kept wondering what my life would've been without meeting Rishabh and although it seems smooth, it just doesn't feel right. Even when everything seems so unsure I'm still glad I met Rishabh.

"Do you mind me asking why doesn't Rishabh meet you guys much? He doesn't talk you guys either. Even in therapy he seems to avoid talking about his family." I asked out of curiosity

"Well my answer might not be accurate but I just feel somehow he thinks he has lead us down and it is kind of a touchy subject for him"

I didn't ask anything. I know she herself doesn't know why his own son is so distant from her. I could see the sadness in her eyes while she was telling it.

We talked about random things and told some stories about Rishabh's childhood which were adorable.

"Hello ladies"  I heard Rishabh calling from hall. Rishabh came over and hugged her mom.

"By the way we have dinner day after tomorrow at our home since Arav is turning one and both of you have to come" His mom informed

"Mom you kn-" Rishabh spoke but he cut him off "I don't take no as an answer"

"Sure" I said and smiled.

"Now I'm going to go. Your father would be home anytime. Take care you" she hugged Rishabh one last time and he kissed her cheek

"See you Radhika"  she said

"See you Mrs. Jaisingh"

After she left I had a lot of thoughts running around in my mind but curiosity took over everything.

"Why don't you visit your parents?" I asked

"Huh?" He asked all confused

"They live in the same city and I haven't seen you visit them ever in all this time I've known you. Why don't you visit them?"

"Do we really have to have this discussion now?" He asked and I shrugged. " Fine let me just get change"

"I'll make you a cup of coffee"

He nodded and left. I made my way towards the kitchen to make us coffee.