We Happened

Chapter Thirty Two

Radhika's pov

It's been almost five months since I moved back to Delhi and honestly things are much more normal than I expected. Rishabh and I have fallen into a routine which isn't as painful as I thought it would be. On the contrary, it is quite good. We stopped overthinking and I guess that made everything fall back into pieces without trying hard. Although there are some moments when time pauses and my mind wanders but I restrain myself from overexpecting anything this time.

He has improved alot in the past months. He has been going to therapy more regularly now. There have been sessions where his therapist suggested I should be. It was to help him accept my existence and the identify the root cause of it.

I have to admit I don't particularly enjoy these sessions. It is hard to hear him talk about my absence in his life and how it affected him. I have to very strong to patiently sit and hear his pain. I realise the impact my leaving had on him but I have also realised he isn't in love with me. It was attachment or maybe the fear to be alone.

I have also realised the past months that I cannot unlove him, I have tried but it doesn't work. My heart jumps out everytime he smiles at me. I now have a new prayer, that he finds his happiness and I find mine. I pray that some day I might find somebody who would love me like I love Rishabh and help me recover from this.

I have been going to therapy myself now. A couple of sessions, that's all. I have come to the realisation that he was it for me. He was the one, the one I wanted to create a life with and maybe if I had met him in a different setting, at a different time in life. Everything would have been okay. I understand the magnitude of my feelings for him. That's why I went to talk to somebody, to put this feelings at rest. I wanted to help him with a clear heart.

Coming back was a spontaneous decision and I hadn't thought it through at all. I was jobless again and I didn't know what to do. Rishabh said I can work with him again but I refused. It just didn't feel right. I didn't wanted people at the office to think that I'm using Rishabh to get my way with things. Luckily Pakhi offered me a job of a legal consultant at her father's company and I accepted. It is still new and I'm still learning but it isn't bad so you won't find me complaining at all.

I used my spare key to Rishabh's apartment and opened. I was sure he must be sleeping and would've totally forgotten about his meeting with a client. I kept my bag on the counter and went straight to the kitchen for some coffee.

"Rishabh" I called once but got nothing in response. I called again and the same thing happened.

I took my cup and took a sip. I breathed and finally shouted "Rishabh, just get up and get your damn ass right now for breakfast or I'm gonna drown you in cold freaking water."

I heard the door bell and thought it must be his housekeeper, so I shouted come in.

"Rishabh I'm telling you I'm going to scare the shit out of you if you don't get your ass down here in five minutes" I was exhausted from this kiddish behavior of his. I knew he heard me the first time.

"Um. Excuse me?" I heard someone call me from behind I turned around to see a woman around late 50s stood in front of me she looked similar to someone, it felt that I've seen her somewhere but couldn't put a finger on it.

"I'm sorry Radhika I was tired after last night. Radh-"

"Mom!" He was schocked and I gasped.

Right. Mom. She looks like Rishabh, that's why she seemed familiar. I dipped my head down as much as I could. To say I was embarassed would be the understatement of this century.

I didn't know what she thought of me or what I was doing in his son's apartment. I was dressed in an oversized tshirt of Rishabh which shorts underneath. I like that t-shirt and he said he didn't wear such clothes anymore so I took it. It was comfortable and it smelled like him.