Crying

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I tell myself I won't cry myself to sleep every night

But I always fail at it

Every night as I put my head on my pillow

I stare at the ceiling

Every possible negative thought comes to my head

Some of those things never happened

They're just made up worlds in my head

What if they don't love me anymore?

They never loved you

Does she actually love me like that? Or does she just feel bad for me because I'm not good enough for today's standards?

She's pitying you

Do my friends like me?

No, they never will like you. That attitude sucks!

Will Dad ever love me or brothers?

No, that's why dad left you with nothing

I count

One

Two

Three

I feel as if a lump formed in my throat

My eyes start to sting

Tears form at the brim of my eyes

I am crying now

I let out gentle sobs

Sobs meaning I need help

What if everything I think is true?

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