Walking With You

Help!

I know I am having two things about the devil this week, but I'm really not kidding. Here's the story:

I went to the church in my city last week, driven to start a youth group class in it. They have had a drop in numbers recently and I was willing to really kickstart it back up again anyway I could. They do have a single class on Sunday mornings, but there's only a few kids in attendance, and walking through those empty rooms made me want to fix it.

I've had feelings that I should do something for that church before, and now I think the Lord may be trying to get me there.

So I talked to the pastor about this, and I told him I was interested. He said if I could get some Bible studying in it was possible.

I have a confession: I've been to one, ONE, official youth group service my entire life. Maybe I'm not exactly the best candidate for this, but I'm willing to try. I know the Lord will lead me through it.

When I came home, I was excited but discouraged. I imagine how proud a Christian family would be that I would want to start this project, but that isn't my family. How was I going to tell them this. Long story short, I have not yet announced it to them. (I also need to be baptized and made an official member of that specific church before I do it anyway I'm sure, so I am holding it off a bit). However, I did tell a few friends and one of my family members. I told her I was worried about what my parents would think of this and how it may not work out. I swear God speaks through her sometimes, because she piped right up and said "Don't let them bring you down. This is what you believe, so do it!"

I really needed it in that moment. She even offered to help with the group.

That same family member has recently been wanting to attend church with me again, and we've done so several times now. Her third time was this Wednesday. I took her with my friend's family to a Bible study. She didn't fancy it, mostly because she wasn't sure what in the world we were really talking about, but she was happy to go nonetheless.

Since school is starting back very soon where I live, my church is doing a school supplies backpack charity event. We decided we wanted to help out this weekend. So when we came back from the study and told her father about the charity event, we got a very unexpected answer:

"What are packing? Bombs? You know, that's not right, you shouldn't be doing that."

We were both entirely dumbfounded at the comment. I was beginning to boil on the inside; I thought the devil must have been trying to bark at us. Thank the Lord that Satan's been mostly bark and not bite for me.

"I'm kidding." He said.

Really? Couldn't tell. . . Thought it was actually a bit insensitive, but I must bite my tongue because I know Satan just wants me to fight back in a way that will be in vain.

If I had fought back and gotten defensive:
I would have made Christians look bad.
I would have made myself look bad.
I probably would have made God look bad too.

I'm glad I didn't say anything back at him.

Even after that incident, a few of my family members decided to interrogate the girl I had brought to church. Apparently, something insulting was said, but she refused to tell me about it.

Now I know that that family member of mine attending with me thinks this is just bad luck or something, but I've got the experience to know that this whole thing is happening again. Because it happened to me. She's being attacked, and I know it, because it happened to me, in the exact same way.

I'm happy that she's on this walk with God, but I worry for her too. I must trust the Lord with her faith, because in the end that is the best thing I can do.

HELP!!!
I'm starting to think that maybe I need to go on the offensive with Satan. I often find myself in doubt over the simplest things that never used to bother me, these kinds of attacks which I mentioned about above are happening all too often. This has been going on for months!!! Of course, I would like some advice too, and maybe some prayers. I am praying about this among other things. If anyone would like to help me out with this, please feel free to comment here or PM me. I am a little new to this, but I do have experience in confrontations with the enemy, and I've dealt with him by going to God. Sometimes I've broken from it, other times I've fallen deeper into a hole.

I guess most of all, I'd just like to be free from him for once (I realize I can't totally rid myself of him). I sort of feel like he's trapping me right now (he has been for a while but the feeling is becoming stronger and it's beginning to worry me).

Thank you for reading. Sorry it wasn't the most encouraging post. May God bless you.