#7 :: Everything I Want.

38) I'm Not ALL Bad

BRIANNA

1 Year Later...

As I sit in my jail cell I can't believe it's only been a year that's gone. I have 34 more years to go and honestly I feel like I have already done my time. Each day feels like a month.

I regret what I done and I couldn't take it back. That was why I ran and handed myself in. I told them everything me and Sydney done. Sydney went on the run and couldn't be found. Apparently she still ain't been found.

So now I regret handing myself in and doing this time on my own. I spent my 27th birthday in here and I honestly just wanted to die. My parents didn't want to know. Liam has changed his number and I wouldn't dare try to call Olivia .. I did send her a VO. I just wanted to apologise and explain but it's been a year and she hadn't come. So I guess she would rather not hear me out; which is fair.

Since being in here I've learned how to have my own back because these girls in here are ruthless. However, the fact I was convicted on abduction and manslaughter kind of keeps people away.

Not all. There's this one girl; people say she likes me and that she wants me but I don't like girls. She's taken offence to the fact I don't want her and since then we fight like once a week. She always gets the better of me but I make sure to get at least one good hit out of it.

A few times I've not only contemplated but attempted suicide and it hasn't worked. It's like I'm not supposed to die, as if God wants me to serve my time so he's refusing to let me die.

"Fox... Visitor."

I looked confused. I haven't had a visitor since I've been here. We've had family days and other events here and not once has anyone come. I got used to it and it didn't even phase me. But now I'm excited but nervous.

Who could it be? Who could be here for me?

As I came into the visitors area I couldn't believe who was sitting there... Taylor.

I felt angry. Why of all people would she be here?

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"For someone who doesn't get visitors you should be glad to see me!" She teased.

"To see you? I'd rather stare at the walls in my cell." I said sarcastically

"How's that been going for you?" She mocked.

"Look, what do you want?" I asked her.

"Nothing. I'm only here so Olivia don't jump over the table and knock yo ass out."

"Olivia?" I repeated.

And then there she was... Strutting like she owned the place. I saw she had a limp but she pulled it off well. Her hair was long and her tight curls were in full effect. She had bright red lipstick her face was beat and her outfit complemented her thickness. I was in awe.

Olivia always turned heads. She was naturally pretty. I envied her but loved being around her at the same time. It was like I wanted to be her and when I couldn't I would get mad.

"You.. Came." I said somewhat pleased.

"I'll do the talking.. You can listen. First of all I didn't understand why on earth you would send me a visiting order. I was thinking is this some kind of sick joke! I threw that shit away instantly. You see the day my son died is the day you became dead to me. However, I'm going counselling and I have to let go of things in order to be the best me I can be. Even though I'm working on that I decided that today wasn't going to be one of those days. I came to get everything off my chest and once I do I'll be gone. I've come to the conclusion you NEVER liked me. You been plotting and scheming behind my back for a while now. Years even. I mean first you slept with Liam. Not only did you sleep with him once but for the 4 years I was with him and then still after I left him AND got pregnant by him. A friend doesn't do that. As well as that you took my business for granted because we was friends then you got mad because I demoted you because you wasn't doing your job. Again, a friend doesn't do that. As well as that you faked being pregnant for Mason to what? Split us up? Again... A. Friend. Does. Not. Do. That. Oh and let's not forget that on NEW YEARS DAY!! You.. You was the person behind me getting attacked! How do you know you could have saved me huh? What if he decided yeah let me actually rape her!" Tears started to roll down Olivia's face. "A FRIEND DOESN'T DO THAT!!"

"Quiet." The guard said.

"So that just leaves me wondering how could you have ever been my friend? When I heard you got 35 years NO parole I cried. I cried tears of joy. By the time you get out of here you will be over 50 with no children, no partner and no family. So ask yourself this, was it worth it? Sydney got lucky, she was killed. She ain't got to sit here and rot. Unlike you. I don't know why you hated me I don't know what I done to you but I'm letting it be known. The day you do come out of here will be the last day you breathe a breath of fresh air. You killed my son. For that I'll never forgive you. And that's what I came here to tell you. No, I don't forgive you and yes you'll die with me hating you. You see, what others don't know about you is you don't like people not liking you because that's how it's been all your life. Not even your parents like you. They just put up with you because they have to. And now they have disowned you, I bet you are feeling real lonely. Well serve yo ass right! I was nothing but good to you. I should have listened to Taylor when she said she didn't trust you. So now I've said everything I've had to say I hope you rot in here all on your own. Bitch!" She said before getting up and walking away.

I couldn't hold back the tears if I wanted to. She hated me and I could feel it the whole time she spoke. She looked at me in disgust and as if she wanted to jump over the table and kill me. I didn't hate her or dislike her I envied her and was jealous. I wanted to be her. But I guess my behaviour showed otherwise.

I noticed Taylor was still sitting there.

"What?" I said to her.

She laughed.

"I always said you couldn't compete with me. You spent so much time trying to compete and not enough time trying to be a friend - a good one at that. You see when you was thinking you was big and bad and decided to kidnap and almost kill Olivia I came back to be by her side and make sure she gets the support she needs. That's the difference between you and me. You envied her I always encouraged and supported her. So why don't you just do yourself and everyone else a favour and rot in here. Better yet kill yourself." She said as she got up and left.

Once back at my cell I decided to compose some letters. Seeing as nobody wanted to hear me out or hear my side maybe just maybe they would read my letters.

I hoped they did anyway. I felt like this would be my last chance for people to see that I'm not ALL bad. I just make some bad decisions and kidnapping my best friend was by far the worst one yet.