Caffeine and Smoke -frerard-

Chapter 13

"Frank?"

I stretched, yawning, "Hnn, yeah?"

I had to remember where I was. I looked up and saw Mikey. I sat up.

"Oh, good, you're awake. Gerard was worried sick."

"Really?" I asked looking at his bedside alarm.

It was 10:13. Mikey nodded and helped me stand. I nearly fell, and he caught me.

"Careful. Don't need you physically hurt."

Physically? What had Gerard told him?

He caught on, "Oh! I'm sorry, I meant-"

"No, no. It's fine. It's true." I smiled, waving it away.

I walked into Gerard's room and he looked up from whatever he was doing. He bolted to me and threw himself in my arms.

"Holy fuck! I thought you had died!" He kissed me, "I'm so sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking."

"You weren't." I replied.

"You're right." He let me go, face falling, "Babe-"

I sighed and he cut himself off, "Frank, what- are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. Gerard, I can't do this."

He tilted his head to the side, "Do what?"

"This," I gestured, "I'm supposed to be here for you, when in reality, I need you here for me. But... you're getting worse."

"What do you mean?" He laughed nervously.

"You keep drinking and getting angrier. You hit me one night. I pretended that I had just hit myself on a door frame, but, Gerard, you need help."

He was silent.

"And you keep going over to Sarah's and getting more and more drugs. I can see who you are when you can't. You get angry, depressed, and violent. I'm always around, so I'm your target. I can see yourself deteriorating in front of me and- and I can't take it!" I yelled.

He stayed silent.

"Gerard," I whispered choking up, "Gee, please. I can't take both of our burdens at once. It's too much. I'm too weak. Go to the doctor or therapy or something, dammit. It- it's time you start teaching yourself."

I walked away, "Frank!"

He reached for my sleeve, but I brushed him off. I grabbed some clothes from my bag that looked decent, "I'm going to church."

I locked the bathroom door behind me. I changed quickly into a black dress shirt and a red tie. My pants were kind of nice. They were the nicest and newest pair I had. So I threw them on, checked my face and opened the bathroom door.

Gerard was in front of me. I inhaled sharply out of surprise and walked past him.

"Frank please- I will. Just listen!" He screamed the last part as my hand touched the front door handle, "I'll do it. I'll get medicated and go to therapy, just don't leave."

"Then come with me." I said opening the door and walking out.

He didn't follow.

The church wasn't very big, but it was big enough. Just like I remembered. Everyone was really nice and sweet. One old lady greater me with a hug. I used to go this church with my mom because she was a believer. In all honesty, I missed it. A few people recognized me.

"Oh my, Frank! Is that you?" A girl about 20 asked me.

I nodded, not knowing who she was, "Yeah."