Caffeine and Smoke -frerard-

Chapter 18

@mention a user

"You know," Gerard began as we finally got home, "that costume I chose for you looks great on you."

"Really? It's just a black dress shirt, red tie, and jeans..." I said pulling at my tie.

"But..."

"But?"

He grabbed my tie, pulling me closer, and whispered in a husky tone, "They'd look better on my bedroom floor."

I automatically felt my jeans tighten as his breath mixed with mine. I nodded as my consent.

...

The ground was completely covered in fog. It was so thick I couldn't tell if the figure across from me was a telephone pole or a person. The fog almost felt insulting in a way. Clouds were supposed to be in the sky, floating from the air in their heads, not on the ground regretting their decision to stay low.

I puffed smoke and watched it mix with the fog. It was hella cold outside and I was wearing a white under shirt and plaid boxers that weren't even mine. To hell with it, I thought.

I inhaled again and felt the warm of the cigarette heat the metal of my piercing. I had taken it out for such a long time because it got in the way of my sexual activities. But, this morning when I put it back in, I experienced some serious deja vu.

I exhaled and watched the smoke puff out in various indescribable shapes. One made almost a ring shape and I laughed, thinking about the wedding ring that Rhonda had given me. I didn't go a day without missing Rhonda. She was kind and sweet. And the fact she gave me of all people her husband's wedding ring... it makes me smile.

I heard rustling and saw what I assumed was a stray cat. I sighed and took another puff. Last night, my birthday, Gerard had given me an intimate birthday gift. A messy and loud one at that. Either his mom wasn't home or she just didn't care anymore. I chuckled to myself. He told me to prove to him I was a top, and I sure as hell did. If he told me he was sore this morning, I wouldn't blame him.

I thought about last night again, reliving it. Damn, Gerard was loud. Either his mom was gone, or the poor woman just didn't care anymore. I was a little sad I didn't get to see her yesterday. I mean, I wasn't sad she didn't say happy birthday to me, but she was like my mother and just... Maybe it hurt a little.

I shook my head.

"Petty." I said, putting the cigarette to my lips.

I kicked a rusty piece of metal at my feet. It looked like an old blade to something. I didn't want to think about how it got there. My mind flicked back to my father and growled curse words under my breath. I hadn't thought about him or the fact I had killed him in awhile. When I did it was usually late at night. And, to my surprise, I wasn't worried about the possibility that I might be put in jail for life if anyone spilled. I mean, Gerard helped. We'd be in jail together.

I heard the crunch of pebbles behind me and felt warm arms wrap themselves around my neck. Gerard sighed in my ear and reached for the box of cigs next to me. He kissed my neck before standing beside me, lighting the cigarette between his teeth. He inhaled and puffed. He glanced at me and smiled.

"Good morning, love." He said, exhaling.

"Morning. How do you feel?" I put the cigarette out and threw the butt on the ground.

He laughed, touching his lower back, "Sore. Fucking sore."

I chuckled, grabbing another cigarette, "I guessed you would. But you did tell me to prove it to you."

I lit the end and waited for him to say something. I inhaled and sighed. He smiled, blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth, "I guess I did, didn't I?"

I leaned against the fence and he adjusted his position on it. He was on the fence, above me, his legs on either side of me. I looked back at him, tilting my head back. He smiled and kissed me gently.

"Why are you sitting on the fence?"

"Why not? It's short enough and thick enough to." He blew smoke above my head.

"Point proven." I rested my head between his legs and he played with my hair.

I took the last puff of my cigarette and threw it on the ground, putting it out with my foot. Gerard put his out on the fence and then threw it as far as he could. Gerard massaged my head, making me almost fall asleep.

Gerard stopped, "Hey don't stop. That feels good."

"But, babe, you're falling asleep standing up! Also it's freezing out here. Let's move this inside." He hopped down off the fence, taking me with him.

He sat down on the couch and I rested my head in his lap. He continued what he was doing outside. I made a relaxed noise and he chuckled, holding my hand with his free one.

"So, how does it feel to be 19?" Gerard asked.

"I just feel the same, really. The only thing I'm kinda excited for is another tattoo. Been saving up." I muttered.

"Would you ever let me pick one out for you?"

"A tattoo?"

"I mean yeah."

"As long as it's not something stupid like a care-bear." I groaned, almost asleep.

"So that's a yes then? Can I pick out your next tattoo?"

I thought it over in my fuzzy brain, "Yeah, just show it to me before I get it. It's going on my skin forever, you know?"

"You won't be disappointed. Trust me."