Caffeine and Smoke -frerard-

Chapter 29

"No, Frank! You don't fucking understand! In front of my entire family?! What was that for?!"

"Well, I just thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong!!! That was embarrassing! Now I have people calling or texting me every second saying if I've fucking answered you yet! Imagine if you were me, okay? You did that stunt in front of my family! It's like you planned it to where I would be pressured to say yes!"

He stormed around the room and then came up really close, anger pouring over the edge. Before he could yell at me more, I cut in, "I didn't. I just thought that you were going to say yes and that your family would like to see the moment... I wanted it to be special."

"Well, it sure was something. You know what, Frank? We are done. You, me, and this fuck of a band." he stormed away.

I collapsed onto the bed, sobbing. I had fucked up. I lost the one I had loved for so many years. And my friends along with it. How the fuck was I supposed to dig myself out of this abyss I had plunged headfirst into? I couldn't...

"Please..." I cried into my hands.

Please, what? Please come back and start over what I had ruined? Please hold me like we did for the first time 6 years ago? Please kiss me and say it'll be okay? Please...

"You fuck!" I screamed, standing up, pulling my hair.

I ran to the medicine cabinet and grabbed Gerard's sleeping pills.

Was I about to fucking do something unbelievably stupid, reckless, and pathetically suicidal?

Yes.

I popped one pill in, and so it wasn't lonely, I popped in 5 more. One for each year I fucked up and made myself become this thing.

Was I gonna write a letter?

No.

And if this didn't work?

I'd try again.

They didn't kick in for a bit, and when they did, the last thing I remembered was falling to the ground with a thud and hearing the door open.

It was too late.

I'm sorry fell off my lips and Goodbye faded halfway said.