Spn edits

Wrong VS Right (Jensen Ackles)

WARNINGS: Depression, Self hate, some swearing , Drinking, talks about infidelity, sad stuff and crappy writing

Imagine.......
You had been working on supernatural for a while now. As a reoccurring character, Jane. Jane was absolutely in love with Dean, practically the girl version. She was depressed, drank, her family was all gone. She hunted things and put on a smile. She loved him though. But little to everyone else's knowledge, that was your life.

Your POV

" I can't do this anymore! I can't pretend not to care about you!" You scream looking him in the eye, meaning every flipping word. " I can't stop thinking about you. I try and I try so goddamn hard to stop myself! But I can't! I fucking can't because." You breathe out exhausted, angry and pitiful.

"Because what?" His tone was tough but managed to be quiet. " Because I'm so stupid- because im so completely and utterly in love with you." You hadn't noticed before but he had gotten closer. " Well I guess I'm stupid too." You stare at the floor not daring to meet his eyes but his fingers lift your chin up towards him.

" Because I'm completely and utterly in love with you too." He moves in to kiss me. Your heart picks up its pace and you can practically feel it jump out of your chest. You feel his breathe against your cheek and his face millimetres from yours,everything you felt so shitty slips from your mind. This is it.

" CUT!" You snap back to reality. You open your eyes and the cameras and lights filled them. His big green eyes lit up and he smiles pulling away. " Alright guys, that's a wrap for this week! Enjoy your holidays and I'll see you all back here on the fifth!" Robert yells smiling and You look back to see Jensen gone. Christmas break, great another week spent drinking away your sorrows in some back alley bar.

Jogging back to the snack bar you decided to first fill your face with food. Snacks were splayed about. You grab a water and a bag of pretzels before turning only to bump into someone.

"Y/N! You did great today. " Just what you needed. A big , candy Apple eyed, toned Abed hunk of wanted infidelity. " Um, thanks Jay." You try getting away only to be followed. Why? Why today?

" So what are your plans for Christmas Break?" You shrug knowing that your voice will betray you. " I can't wait to see JJ and Danneel! The looks on their faces are just enough." Your heart breaks with every word. But of course just like any other day you smile. " That's great Jen. Listen I really ought to be going. " Lies, you didn't have anywhere to go but an empty house. You just couldn't stand to be next to him, scared of what might happen if you did.

He nods and you walk off hating yourself with everything you had. Here he sat talking about his family and all you could think about is what you felt on set. You wanted to go home, but nobody's home. Not for years. Your parents passed and your siblings couldn't give two shits about you. So you made a stop, to the liquor store of course.

" Hey Nico." You mumble to the familiar face, placing the rum and two bottles of Jack Daniels on the counter. " Hey Y/n, having a party?" He asks but he knew the truth. He knew it was just you but he didn't say anything, he didn't have the right. " You could say that." Your barbie smiles shows paying the man. " Tell the wife and kids I said hi. Merry Christmas Nico!" You shout out the door. You throw the bags into the passenger seat and set out towards the lonely apartment.

The cold air of the dark apartment hits your face. You flip on the light , shutting the door behind you. Every home was lit, Christmas tree stood tall with presents to be placed under tonight. Couples stood under mistletoe and families gathered to hang up lights , but not you. Your house was bare, no tree nor light in sight. What's the point? Trees are made to put presents under and buying yourself presents is a pretty petty thing to do.