[Stucky One Shots and Drabbles]

After All We've Been Through

Bucky was done.

He couldn't do it anymore.

The man had no ambition or will to do anything.

He couldn't even remember half his past. Therapy stopped helping him a long time ago, and any attempts to bring back his memories just angered him when they didn't work.

Until they stopped angering him.

Until he stopped feeling anger altogether.

And happiness.

The only remaining emotion that Bucky had left was his sorrow, and even that would occasionally go away, leaving him feeling empty and drained.

Steve had no idea.

A person would think it would be hard to hide something that big from your house mate, but Steve was just so busy with the Avengers that Bucky was often alone, and when Steve was home, it wasn't hard to smile and lie and tell the man that he was doing good, that his therapy session went well, and all the other things that Steve would ask him.

None of the questions ever got very personal, which would pine at Bucky's emotions, but he understood perfectly why.

Because Steve was too good of a man to try to invade Bucky's personal space.

Because he didn't want to push Bucky further than he could go.

Because Bucky was a bomb just waiting to go off.

So Bucky would sit alone at his and Steve's shared apartment, and stare at a wall, or pace the floor, and on occasion, cry.

From time to time the man would let a few tears sneak out of his eyes while he sat alone on the sofa, clutching a throw pillow to his chest, wondering why he couldn't fully recover.

Eventually, the morbid game of 'Pretend You're Alright ' got tiring.

After a dance of depression came the suicidal recital.

His mind in some sort of hollow trance, Bucky got up from the sofa and wandered into the kitchen, opened a cupboard and pulled out the first pain reliever bottle he saw.

Not giving himself time to back out, Bucky opened the child proof cap and poured a generous amount of the pills into his metal hand.

He didn't even count them, he was just certain it was an unhealthy amount.

Bucky placed on of the pills between his fingers and swallowed it down dry.

His heart began to beat faster as he took another.

Then another.

Then another.

And another following that one.

He stopped counting as he swallowed all the pills down.

Tears began leaking out of his eyes as he pictured Steve's face in his mind.

Would Steve even have time to miss him, with being so busy with the Avengers?

Would he miss Steve?

What would happen after he died?

Bucky's eyes began to widen as it hit him.

He was about to die.

Did he want to die?

Not having time to answer his own question, Bucky grabbed onto the back of kitchen chair, trying to steady himself.

His grasp on the chair loosened as this mind went fuzzy and his eyelids became heavy.

Bucky released his hand from the chair, and collapsed to the floor.