[Stucky One Shots and Drabbles]

Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

In which Bucky runs off and Stevie finds him in a bar. Loosely based off of a Panic! at the Disco song, hence the title. Again, I will continue the road trip series, I just got this weird idea at one in the morning and was like "Eyy, I should write this." So I did.

                                                                  There were reasons why Steve didn't go to bars, and he was currently being reminded of all those reasons.

The smell of the place when he first entered the sketchy, dimly lit club was enough to already want him to throw in the towel, say forget it and that Bucky could pass out by the curb of the highway for all he cared.

It was his decision to take off, leaving a scribbled note on a pad of paper laying on the table, that simply stated he was going out and not to wait up with a damn smiley face at the end of the sentence.

Steve had never been so grateful for the tracker he'd gotten installed in Bucky's phone.

Part of Steve wanted to say screw it and just let Bucky take responsibility for his stupid actions.

But in his heart, the part that more often than not controlled Steve, he knew he would never be able to leave his reckless boyfriend to fend for himself, no matter how frustrating the task.

So Steve made his way through the club, trying to find a path through the swarm of people grinding on each other, and trying even harder not to throw up from the not so subtle scent of alcohol, cheap perfume, and so many sweaty bodies that the small club must've been pushing its capacity limit.

He only prayed that he wouldn't find Bucky amongst the crowd of crude dancers, pressing his body against a stranger's. It wasn't that Steve didn't trust Bucky to be faithful, because he did. He just knew from years of witnessing it himself that when Bucky got drunk, he considered everyone his friend.

And some of those friends wanted to sleep with him.

Steve distinctly recalled the last time he pulled Bucky out of a bar, having to pry a stranger, "Marco" as Bucky had called him, off of his boyfriend.

"But Stevie," Bucky had whined. "He's my friend!"

This was right before Steve pulled him outside and Bucky threw up in a drain pipe.

So the reason why Steve didn't like his boyfriend to go out alone because he didn't want Bucky to have a good time, or that he didn't trust him. No, it wasn't that, his beloved, thick headed boyfriend just got so drunk that he often got stupid. His shottier version of the serum allowed him to get completely wasted, unlike Steve, who couldn't even get tipsy.

Scanning the room with his blue eyes, Steve tried to pick out his boyfriend amongst the other people when he say a head of shaggy brown hair in the corner of the room, cheering on a girl who was taking shots.

Steve began to make his way to the corner if the bar when a skinny redhead bymbed into him. "Hey, you're Captain America!" He slurred. He gave Steve what he suspected was a drunken version as a wink, but it made the man look like he'd smelled something rotten. "You're cute." He said before walking off and tripping over a chair.

Steve took that as an opportunity walk away, still heading towards his boyfriend. He turned in a circle when he could no longer see Bucky, trying to figure out where he could've went when a pair of hands wrapped around his arm.

"Hey, you're hot." A voice slurred behind him.

Steve turned around. It was Bucky.

Bucky looked up at him, his eyes hazy from alcohol and a cheesy grin on his face. "Yeah, you're real hot." He took a step forward and stumbled, landing against Steve's chest. Bucky smiled up at Steve. "You're strong, too."

As amusing as Bucky could be when he was drunk, Steve rolled his eyes.."Bucky, it's me."

"I'm afraid I don't know who 'me' is, Mister." He hiccuped.

"It's me, Bucky. Steve."

Bucky squinted, studying the man's face. "Steve? Is that really you?"

"Yes, now come on, I'm taking you home."

"Ooh, sounds fun." He winked at him. He turned to the crowd of people. "Hey everyone, this is my boyfriend! Isn't he cute?" He put his arm around Steve's shoulder and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I must say, I'm a very lucky man."

Steve took Bucky by the hand and began to lead him out of the bar, weaving his way through throngs of people.

"But Steve," Bucky protested."I'm not as think as you dunk I am
" He began to laugh as of he'd just said the world's greatest joke.

Steve sighed and continued to pull him out of the bar and into the cool night air outside. "What exactly have you been drinking?" He asked.

Bucky shrugged. "Champaign, cocaine, you name it, I've drank it."

Steve once again rolled his eyes as Bucky jumped into some wild story as Steve continued to lead him down the sidewalk to their apartment.

"And then their was this fella with a shopping cart," Bucky said drunkenly. "I think he mighta been wearing a skirt." He frowned, like he'd just been asked an intense question. "Why was he wearing a skirt?" He mumbled to himself.

Steve pulled Bucky through the door of their apartment, and Bucky immediately let go of Steve's hand and fell to the floor. "Think I'm gonna throw up," he mumbled.

With minimal help from Bucky, Steve managed to pull him into the bathroom. With some struggling, he got Bucky's shirt off of him and positioned him so he was kneeling over the toilet. Moments later, Bucky began to vomit.

Steve held Bucky's hair away from his face as he knelt behind him, pressing soothing kisses to his bare back. Even if he got frustrated with his boyfriend's drunkenness, in the end, he was just glad his baby was safe.

"Think I'm done now," Bucky said as he tried to stand up. Steve wrapped his arm around the man's shoulders as he led him to their bedroom.

"Let's get you out of those clothes." Steve said.

Bucky laughed at the remark. "Eager, are we?"

Steve sighed as he helped his boyfriend out of his pants and got him into bed.

"You should cuddle me." Bucky implied as he buried his face in his pillow.

The blonde man laid down next to the drunk one and tucked the duvet underneath his boyfriend's chin. "I will cuddle with you, Buck."

Bucky chuckled, starting to calm down. "I must've been real good to get a boyfriend like you."

Steve didn't answer, he simply smiled and pressed his lips to Bucky's forehead. "Go to sleep, baby."

Bucky rolled over and wrapped his arms around Steve's waist. He laid his head down on Steve's chest as his boyfriend ran his fingers through his hair, soothing him to sleep.

If Steve knew anything, it was that his boyfriend was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.

So that was ridiculous, but ooh well. Thanks for reading!