Animal

.:27:.

a/n: i am so sorry for the delay on this chapter. first, i broke my phone and lost all my story notes for this book and had to rewrite them on my new phone. then, among dealing with personal problems, i started my senior year of high school and have been busy with that and homework already. i just haven't managed to get back into this until now, and i'm truly sorry for the wait. thank you for being patient; i hope you enjoy this part.

- Grace xx

-:-

I sat in the passenger's seat of the truck that Giselle was driving. We didn't talk to each other, we didn't make an effort at conversation. We just sat there, watching the forest pass by as we rode through the depths.

There was a heavy tension in the air, but it wasn't from us being in the same car. I was absolutely sure that Giselle was just as pissed off as I am about sending me in, all for different reasons. I don't think she thought I was ready to go into an entire raid, especially since I've had no training in the slightest beforehand.

"McKenzie." As though reading my thoughts, Giselle glanced at me from the corner of her eye. "I want you to know I'm just as unhappy as you are."

My nostrils flared. "That's comforting," I murmured under my breath.

Her grip tightened upon the wheel. "It's a stupid decision," she hissed, completely ignoring me altogether, "to let a girl who just got here go into a raid without training. What the actual fuck is Silo thinking?"

I listened to her speak, lifting my left hand and picking some dirt and grime from underneath my nails nonchalantly. "He isn't," I hummed. "He just wants to get information on me, and get me initiated into the group as soon as possible. It kills two birds with one stone, I guess."

"Fucking idiot," she muttered under her breath, scraping her fingernails against the leather steering wheel. "If you get killed..."

"You're worried about me getting hurt?" I asked, unable to hide my surprise as I shot her a risky glance.

"Is that really shocking?" she questioned, her eyes leaving the trail for a brief moment and looking at me. "You're one of us now. I protect my own, so yes, I worry about the safety of you and everyone else within the group." She attempted a small smile at me, which I returned.

"Can I admit to you that I'm scared?" I said softly, needing someone to spill my emotions to. The truth of the matter is that I'm not scared, I'm terrified. I can barely keep myself together right now. My throat felt tight, my heart was pounding painfully against my chest.

"I would be concerned if you weren't scared," she replied, once again casting me a curious glance. "Every single person here is scared, McKenzie. We're all risking our lives to help others, to get supplies for our people, and to throw our enemies off."

"Silo wanted information on me," I replied harshly, looking out the window. "Otherwise he wouldn't have brought me until he thought I was trained enough."

"He can be very stupid, like I said. I still think it's a bad idea and I don't like how he's planned it." Giselle paused, her eyes thoughtful. "But Silo is a man I, and you should as well, trust with my life. He's never failed us before. Even if he is an idiot."

I nodded, but secretly felt unconvinced. A selfish part of me was angry with him for throwing me into this without any sort of training. He knew the danger and yet he was doing it anyway. What if I messed up and got people killed, or, more selfishly, I got killed? As horrible as it sounded, I didn't want to risk my own fucking life on a mission I didn't even agree to. I wasn't fucking trained for it and I don't know the "protocol" for it. It was unfair.