ball boy • b.u

11; cassidy

I lay there with Brendon's head on my abdomen, his eyes closed. I played with his hair as his head rose every time I inhaled. He'd been staying the night quite a lot recently, and I was totally okay with it. Veronica loved him, and I don't blame her. Just look at those puppy dog eyes. I thought back to the talent show, and how great that was. I'm proud of the boys. Pete really made a good decision. I think they deserve it, especially with Brendon's voice and Ryan's lyrics. I was going to stick with them no matter what. I didn't really have very close friends before hand, just people to keep me company at lunch. The guys are my friends now. Best friends, really. They make me laugh, they make me feel comfortable and as if I've known them my entire life. Spencer and Jon are basically my OTP. They're so fucking cute, like come on. You can't not ship that. Dallon is so kind and funny. His awkwardness is what makes him so great. He tells a little too many dad jokes, however. Ryan is so sarcastic and witty, he never fails at having a comeback. And then, there's Brendon. He's so beautiful, kind and smart. He has an incredible voice and he's so nice to me. I love it. For most of my life, I've isolated myself from people because it only seemed acceptable to hang out with the girl groups. I never fit in with them, though. All I wear is old band shirts and jeans. None of them, at least not at my school, like sci-fi books and punk rock. But I guess that's why I fit in so well with this group of people. Because they're exactly that.

I'm scared to graduate. I've never known anything but public school. I always dreamed of getting out of it, but now that its only one semester away scares the living shit out of me. Just like teenagers. Hah. I'm hilarious. I don't quite know what to do with my life. I don't have any hobbies. I love music, but I don't know how to play any instruments and I can't sing. I suppose I could go into music production. Tagging along with the boys and helping them with making music would be cool, seeing as I already do that. When Ryan's writing songs I'll give him suggestions, and when the other guys are making some music I'll suggest a certain noise. I suppose I'm somewhat helpful. I love Spencer's mom, though. I don't have a mom because she passed away a long time ago. My dad has done the very best he can and my sister is a great help. I guess Mrs. Smith just took me under her wing and made me feel like her own.

Tomorrow is the day the boys go for lunch with Pete. They said I could come, but I declined. This is serious business, and I'm not part of the band so they need to be just them and Pete. I wonder if they'll make it. You know, get famous. I hope they do, because they fucking deserve it. It blows my mind that Pete of all people chose them, though. One of my favourite people of all existence stood right in front of me and said he liked my shirt. He actually spoke to me. I hope the band stays together too, no matter the highs and lows. They're all so good for each other. Their personalities all fit like puzzle pieces.

I reach over to my night stand and turn off the lamp that was illuminating the room. I moved my body so I was laying down, but Brendon could still have his head on my stomach. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, a smile across my face. I leaned forward and kissed Brendon's head before closing my eyes and falling asleep with the boy I love right beside me.